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ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Once Upon A Time In Hollywood. News Flash: QUENTIN TARANTINO IS A SELF INDULGENT FILM MAKER. Tarantino seems like a really nice guy, but his story telling is exasperating. He has no sense of pace. His directing style is meandering, accentuated by slow motion pit stops […]

THE CREOLE DISNEYLAND

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Bonnie the Bonnet. “Where’s my hat?,” girlfriend shrieks. Her words slam my skull like the final scene in Thelma and Louise where the convertible plummets over the cliff into oblivion. I look at her. Her eyes are wide, her face contorted into a stew of concern. […]

What Else Would I Do?

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Contemplating a career change. It happens to the best of us. As they say; nobody is irreplaceable. Eventually, the new guy is cheaper and more desirous to management than the old guy. It’s just the way of the world. It’s that new car smell, so to […]

FENTANYL – THE NEW NORMAL

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ FENTANYL – THE NEW NORMAL Welcome to The Fentanyl Epidemic. A grain of Fentanyl inhaled or even absorbed through the skin can incapacitate or kill. According to the DEA: Fentanyl is a synthetic opioid that is 80-100 times stronger than morphine. Just think about that. A […]

Mass Murderer

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy. The Mass Murderer. The man in the Sumner County jail is now accused of murdering 8 people. 8 people! His mug shot is not all that different than the million or so other mug shots I’ve seen in my career. 8 people killed. I stare into […]

What the F Type

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ THE JAGUAR F TYPE. The Roar. The Power. The Freedom. It’s a street legal race car. It’s one part Cartier watch with its precision. It’s one part iPhone 10 with it’s technological sophistication. It’s one part Nitro Glycerin with it’s explosiveness. The Jaguar F Type is […]

Pumpkin Head Sinus Monster

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ My gigantic rotting pumpkin head. My cranium is saturated with phlegm. It’s like soupy gelatin that has yet to coagulate. My body is suffocating in its own rancid juices. There’s a viscous broth filling my lungs, my nose, my sinuses, my eye sockets. It’s a gelatinous […]

Saturday Night Live Sucks

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy Saturday Night Live. LIVE FROM NEW YORK IT’S SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE. It use to give me chill bumps. Now it makes me wince. It use to be appointment TV. Now it’s a cue to turn out the light, the party’s over. The show has always been […]

Starving Horse

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ The Dead Horse. The horse is young and cannot stand. The mare is dying, starving, emaciated. The pitiful animal is sprawled in the cold wet mud, clinging to whatever life she has left. I watch the iPhone footage of the listless animal. It lays motionless on […]

Super Loud LIII

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™ Super Loud LIII. All around me is noise. A cacophony of white hot blistering noise. The cheers, the announcers, the sound of grown men smashing each other like mountain goats. It’s mind numbingly loud. A dark complected man wearing a flowered shirt to conceal a large […]