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What Goes Up…

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ What Goes Up…. I’m at Gate 24 in the Denver International Airport. The departure area is a human waste basket of legs and arms and bad wardrobe selections. Spandex and Hawaiian shirts and who authorized the wearing of Yoga pants in Public? As I scan the […]

Right Field Bar

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Going to a bar and a baseball game breaks out. I’m seated at the Band Box in Sulfur Dell. This part of Nashville was once a reclamation project for hobos and old rusted warehouses. But like so many other sections of Nashville, a city with a […]

I HATE MY WORDS!

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ I HATE MY WORDS! Yeah, I said it. F you words! And the horse you rode in on. You’ve really been pissing me off lately. I’ve seen you hanging around the computer screen and I’ve heard your delicate sweet whispers to sit down and type a […]

Non Dairy Napalm

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Non Dairy Creamer. It comes in a white plastic jug. There is a picture of a cartoon dairy cow on the front. She is smiling, inviting, urging me to pour the creamy delicious contents of this jug into my morning joe. Moooo! And pour I do. […]

Graduation Reflections

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Graduation 2017! Middle School. High School. College. All over the country their is a universal, timeless right of passage taking place. It’s a time where young people walk through a life portal and gaze at a universe that has always been there, but suddenly resonates on a […]

Dumpster Pirates

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ The garage sale. I hate it. It’s the invasion of the body snatchers, where aliens from foreign postal zones saturate my street of milk and honey. They come like plague, like pestilence and sour my Saturday. If Trump wants to build a wall, start here. Keep […]

Dancing with the stars for guys

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy. The NFL draft. It’s Dancing with the Stars for Men. 7 rounds. 3 days. 253 picks. It’s a marathon and a sprint! To some it is salvation. To others it is a televised yawn! To some it is a sports vacation. To others it is nonsensical blather […]

Korean Cave People

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ North Korea. The evil empire. The most dangerous, most unsettling place on the planet. Jets flying above the demilitarized zone show the visual significance of what this unknown entity is. On the right side of the aircraft is South Korea. Lit up like a Broadway show […]

5 speed Dance

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Teaching your kid to drive a stick shift. “Put in the clutch. Put in the clutch!!” Glug. Chortle. Stall. Fizzle. “I stalled it,” my 18 year old son says. “Yep, you stalled it.” I look around the empty parking lot. We are the only car in […]

national unicorn day

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ National Unicorn day. In a world where every damn day has a special meaning, now I’ve seen it all. Hug a vagrant day. Lick an icy street lamp day. Squat and pee in public day. Yes, if there is a day on the calendar, then someone […]