Blog

Cubs Win

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ The Chicago Cubs Winning the World Series. The Cubs win the world series? No man alive today has ever written those words and it be accurate. That was till last night. Goats and curses and loveable losers no more. What a game. If you only watched […]

Going Dark on Halloween

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Going dark on Halloween. This year I was the house with the lights turned off. I was the home not handing out Halloween Candy. Yes I was that house! This year, for the 1st time in a long time, I was the house that trick or […]

Him? or Her? Are you serious?

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Him or Her. Are you Serious? In a world where the options are as limitless as the endless shrimp platter at Captain D’s, suddenly we have no options. It’s him. Or it’s her. Oh you don’t like him. then Pick her. Oh you don’t like her. […]

Old Bitch

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ The Old Bitch next door. Who’s the old bitch next door you ask? The wicked witch of the West who was crushed by a falling house? No. The old lady in the shoe who had so many bleeding hemorrhoids, she didn’t know what to do? No She’s […]

Insane Clown Posse

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ SCARY CLOWNS. “What’s so scary about clowns?,” the man with the crooked teeth asks. “When we were young, clowns made you laugh. At least they were suppose to.” I stare at the grandfather. He is a mush mouth. His words are a southern fried mess of […]

Adulterated Coffee

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Adulterated Coffee. What is adulterated coffee? To me, it’s nectar of the Gods. It is cream and sugar saturating something so pure, so dark, so primal. America’s addiction to coffee. It’s a crime without a punishment. Coffee is the global drug of choice. Coffee is crack […]

Micromanage my Ass!

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Micromanaging. I feel like a rat in a maze. Go this way. Push the button. Go left, go right, go left. Now check in with the cock roach in the corner. Anybody got any cheese? Somebody punch my clock. Are you Micromanaging my ass? I don’t […]

Hemingway House

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ The Ernest Hemingway House. If the man is a genius, if the man is a world renown icon, if the man is a literary gunslinger, then this is the house that Ernest built. I am in Key West Florida. It is a stone’s throw to Cuba, […]

FLETCHER & THE SCHIZOPHRENIC

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ FLETCHER AND THE SCHIZOPHRENIC DUDE Fletcher is a natural born salesman. He is friendly, cocksure, hand extended as he approaches us. “Good morning.” Fletcher is a wiry 60 year old. He is wearing a name tag that says CHAIRMAN. I stare at the name tag. Chairman? […]

Wild Chickens

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ The Key West Wild Chickens. They fly and flap. They are fowl and yes, foul! Key West is a lot of things. Sea and sky and rainbows after dark thunder boomers. It’s also a haven for chickens. Why Chickens? Because they are God’s creatures and Key […]