You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy. The NFL draft. It’s Dancing with the Stars for Men. 7 rounds. 3 days. 253 picks. It’s a marathon and a sprint! To some it is salvation. To others it is a televised yawn! To some it is a sports vacation. To others it is nonsensical blather […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ North Korea. The evil empire. The most dangerous, most unsettling place on the planet. Jets flying above the demilitarized zone show the visual significance of what this unknown entity is. On the right side of the aircraft is South Korea. Lit up like a Broadway show […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Teaching your kid to drive a stick shift. “Put in the clutch. Put in the clutch!!” Glug. Chortle. Stall. Fizzle. “I stalled it,” my 18 year old son says. “Yep, you stalled it.” I look around the empty parking lot. We are the only car in […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ National Unicorn day. In a world where every damn day has a special meaning, now I’ve seen it all. Hug a vagrant day. Lick an icy street lamp day. Squat and pee in public day. Yes, if there is a day on the calendar, then someone […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Where’s the Burger? “Baby where’s the other hamburger I grilled?,” I say into the phone. I hear a pause, then a quiet sigh. There is silence on the other end of the line. “The hamburger?,” she says weakly. “Yeah,” I respond. “The hamburger.” Again there is quiet. It’s a […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Watching your son drive through a red light. OK, maybe it was yellow turning to red. Benjamin Moore calls that traffic moment I witnessed: Tangerine Fusion #803. I call it, “Hey boy, I’m gonna whip that ass!” It’s a Saturday Night and I’m returning home. I’m […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ The Huffing Man. So addicted. So stupid. So sad. So lost in his own dysfunctional spiral of despair. Huffing man is body lice washed off a vagrant swirling around a shower drain in a bacteria laden hell. Huffing man is dying by a thousand cuts. He […]