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George Clooney

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™ George Freaking Clooney. Need I say more? How freaking cool is George Clooney? He is James Bond, shaken not stirred. He is Clint Eastwood, do you feel lucky punk. He is Elvis Presley, before the sequined jump suit. Tonight I am watching the American. Clooney is […]

Decomposing Momma

You now what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy. The evil that churns in an unsettled mind. The suspect walks into the jail conference room. He is sad and demented. His shackles sound like evil wind chimes, the metal clanking uneasily. The prisoner stops in the middle of the room. He is bewildered and haggard. […]

Pissin in the Plants

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s Crazy! Peeing on your plants to make your garden grow. Apparently our British Brothers across the pond have taken to urinating on their crops. Why?  For a number of reasons including increased crop production. I’ve heard of coffee as a natural fertilizer. I’ve heard human hair can […]

0h Fer

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Losing and losing and losing and losing. I’m a man falling off the side of a fantasy football cliff. The only thing that breaks my fall is a kiss from my sister. Yuk. My season is bad. How bad? I have no wins. My season is […]

The Martian

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ The Martian. The Red Planet stars as the evil spheroid that threatens to devour all who tread upon her. The Martian is one of the best films you will see this year. It certainly is the best SCI FI film you will see this year. It’s cast-a-way […]

Von Zipper

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ A zipper malfunction.  Let’s grab a beer after work, I tell my buddy. You got it, he says. Five minutes later I get a text that says: My zipper broke. Going to buy pants. Huh? I text him back, Are you kidding? No he writes. Using the […]

Ink Stink

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy! Tattoos. What’s up with all the freakin tattoos, people! Everyone I know is sporting a tat. America has become a gigantic skin canvas. We are uglier than one of Tommy Lee’s forearms. Is it a FACEBOOK thing? Is it a redbull and vodka thing? Is it sponsored […]

Factual Facts

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ The angry phone calls. “I’ll sue you,” the angry voice on the other end of the line screams. “Sue us? For what?” “For running this story?” “Oh. Good luck.” And so it goes. Truth is a defense in a court of libel law. But the public doesn’t […]

The National Divorce

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ The National Divorce. The differences in political viewpoints in this country are stagnating. They are a clogged toilet, occasionally backing up, gurgling a nasty viscous goo. Planned Parenthood and gun control and taxes and abortion and immigration. How is it suppose to work? Is there a […]

Crazy like a mosquito with a thirst for blood

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ The Weather. Hurricanes, tropical depressions, flooding, Oh My. It’s crazy out there? I feel like a settler in a coon skin cap driving my tattered covered wagon across the great divide. Rain is pelting my roof. It’s slapping my windows like a bad pimp handling his bottom […]