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Monthly Archive for: ‘December, 2015’
How to Shake a man’s hand

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ How to shake a man’s hand. The good old fashioned, look a man in the eye, and shake-his-hand handshake is falling out of favor in America. You know why? because people are afraid. Afraid of germs, afraid of touching other people. With Swine Flu as prevalent […]

I look in the mirror

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Birthdays. As I embark around the sun for my 53rd time, I am forced to reflect on the passage of time and submit to the hour glass of existence. Rich or poor, black or white, good or bad, we all have one thing in common; Time. It […]

Monkey with an AK 47

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™ A monkey with an AK – 47. It sounds like a punch line to a joke. Like how many chimps does it take to screw in a light bulb in a thatched hut? One! If he’s toting a fully automatic weapon with a full banana clip. My […]

Viagra

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Viagra commercials. Enough already. It’s Christmas night. TV’s are on all over America. Children are playing with toys. Aunts and Uncles are sitting in living rooms discussing politics. Grandma is adjusting her teeth. Grandpa is playing pocket pool. America is watching the Cleveland Cavs versus the Golden State Warriors. […]

Pirates and rum

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™A pirate festival called Gasparilla. I wrote this story a while ago. My friend was asking if I wanted to go back and it made me think, Heck Yeah. It’s Mardis Gras on a pirate ship. It’s wenches loaded on rum. It’s cut-throats gargling with sea water mixed […]

Star Wars 4

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Star Wars 4. It’s called the Force Awakens? But to me, it’s the 4th movie. I know what you are saying, it’s the 7th film. That’s true, but its story line sequentially follows the 1st 3 films and to me, the 1st 3 films, are the […]

Christmas Quagmire

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Shopping during the holidays. It’s a claustrophobic wrestling match with sweaty strangers. It’s toxic like brushing your teeth with asbestos flavored toothpaste. It’s a raw nerve, exposed to a garbage can percussion band. As I walked up the stairs at the local mall, side stepping tweens […]

Why Still Survivor?

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Day 36 on Survivor. Why am I still watching? Another season. 15 years of seasons and shows and challenges. It’s like watching an old man walking on the beach. You know that old guy? He’s got a big T shirt and over sized hat. He is […]

To Trump or Not to Trump?

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ The power of Trump. The presidential candidate was on Jimmy Kimmel, Wednesday night. His face was orange like an oompa loompa. Trump’s hair was styled by a wolverine. His suit was dapper and his tie blood red. He was cocky, confident, over the top. “Jeb’s got […]

Californication

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy. CALIFORNICATION It’s a showtime series that has come and gone, but thanks to our good friends at Netflix, I have been reintroduced to this salacious vehicle. David Duchovny plays the role of Hank Moody. He’s a struggling novelist who bangs more women than keyboards. He is […]

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