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Who the hell’s that guy?

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy. The CMA awards. New acts. Old acts. Some we know. Some we don’t. Unless you are a country fan, you need a program to know all the players. Sure there’s Keith and Carrie and Luke and Miranda. I know those stars. They are on the cover of People […]

Slow Motion Baseball

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy. The World Series. Exciting? sure. Historic? Unbelievably so. Slow? You bet. It’s not the World Series fault. It’s baseball’s fault. The World Series is the final spectacle of a slow motion sport. As far as sports go, It’s maple syrup in December. It’s Freeway Traffic in […]

The angry Blood Puddle

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ The combat vet. I pull up to the four plex. It is grey and worn. It is a stucco box with metallic railings and flimsy doors with peep holes. It looks like a shoe box that was designed by Converse. We pull into a parking space. I get […]

The Peanut Allergy Princess

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ The Peanut Allergy Princess. It’s Halloween 2015. It’s 6pm. It’s Dark. It’s chilly and rainy. The door bell is beginning to ring regularly. Little hob goblins and store bought miscreants are standing on my stoop. My door bell is loud and pronounced. DING DONG. My bell […]

Halloween Precursor

I wrote this last year… You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Halloween from the inside out. It doesn’t take a lot to dress up and ring a doorbell and say “Trick Or Treat.” Mutants and mongoloids have been doing that for over 100 years. The trick is handling the door from the inside […]

Space Sex

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy! ™ Space Sex. Talk about your high flying fantasy! Knocking boots in the celestial cosmos, can you even imagine? Slamming off walls and microwave ovens and the Hal 9000 computer. What fun! Hey baby we’re in the milky way, what do you say? People brag about […]

baby vomit

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ The good Samaritan. I am at an intersection in the middle of nowhere. It’s rural, empty, like the vacuous thoughts filling Jessica Simpson’s mind. It is a country road in the middle of Giles County. I am north of the Alabama border, I am south of […]

Amazin Mets

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ The Mets VS the Royals. That’s a World Series few pundits picked in Spring Training. In fact, the Mets were as popular a World Series pick as a Herpes Blister in a kissing booth. The problem with the Mets pre-All Star Break? They were anemic. They […]

Junk Mail

You know what’s Crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy! People who believe their full time job is to forward email. We all know these people. We are all on the list. The list is comprised of friends and acquaintances. The list is made up of work mates and anonymous names from countries near and far. […]

The Little Dog

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ My contempt for humans. They are capable of purposeful evil and egregious selfishness. I am reminded of this recently as I stare at the Xray of a puppy that has been shot by men so irrational, so morally deficient, I am having trouble containing my anger. […]