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Von Zipper

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ A zipper malfunction.  Let’s grab a beer after work, I tell my buddy. You got it, he says. Five minutes later I get a text that says: My zipper broke. Going to buy pants. Huh? I text him back, Are you kidding? No he writes. Using the […]

Ink Stink

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy! Tattoos. What’s up with all the freakin tattoos, people! Everyone I know is sporting a tat. America has become a gigantic skin canvas. We are uglier than one of Tommy Lee’s forearms. Is it a FACEBOOK thing? Is it a redbull and vodka thing? Is it sponsored […]

Factual Facts

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ The angry phone calls. “I’ll sue you,” the angry voice on the other end of the line screams. “Sue us? For what?” “For running this story?” “Oh. Good luck.” And so it goes. Truth is a defense in a court of libel law. But the public doesn’t […]

The National Divorce

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ The National Divorce. The differences in political viewpoints in this country are stagnating. They are a clogged toilet, occasionally backing up, gurgling a nasty viscous goo. Planned Parenthood and gun control and taxes and abortion and immigration. How is it suppose to work? Is there a […]

Crazy like a mosquito with a thirst for blood

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ The Weather. Hurricanes, tropical depressions, flooding, Oh My. It’s crazy out there? I feel like a settler in a coon skin cap driving my tattered covered wagon across the great divide. Rain is pelting my roof. It’s slapping my windows like a bad pimp handling his bottom […]

My little Pirate

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ My daughter. She danced through a high level tropical storm or low-level hurricane Thursday morning. Either way, it was the kind of weather that would have grounded Mary Poppins. It was pitch black, and the wind was peeling back roof tiles. Most kids were sleeping or […]

Truck in a creek

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Jail House Interviews. I’ve done a lot of them. They can go so many ways. Some guys are crazy, and walk in and stare at you. “What is this?” they say, even though they agreed to the interview beforehand. I’ve interviewed perps who were obviously lying […]

If it doesn’t kill you then it must be good for you

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy. ™ Thinking chocolate will give you cancer, and then learning it fights cancer. Being told that tomato sauce has good antioxidants, then finding out it might be killing you. Hearing that coffee is dangerous to your health, only to learn that coffee is the new fountain of […]

TRUNCATED BIBLE

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy. The bible. It’s too long. Old Testament. New Testament. 10 commandments all that start with THOU SHALL NOT… Maybe that’s the problem with the good book. The Ultimate Guide for Good is long-winded, hard to read, even complicated. The Bible is written with a sentence structure […]

Pink Floyd Revisted

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™Pink Floyd The Wall.Do you remember where you were the first time you played this LP and let the brilliance wash over you.I was in Kerkoff Hall at USC. It was circa 1981 and L.A. was a hot bed of musical influences. The Boss was filling stadiums and Van […]