You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Moving day. I can taste the sweat. It’s dripping down my forehead. It’s a thick bead of salty, liquid pulling on my facial hair, tugging on my skin. I feel the river of sweat coagulating around my ear, taking a turn, like a mighty river and rolling […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ The half way house. I’ve been getting complaints from residents on Facebook. The allegations are numerous. Drug addicts and unsavory characters, perhaps 10 or more people, in one house, trying to lure junior high girls into the residence. “Is it a halfway house?” I ask the […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™ Going to bed on a full stomach. I made the mistake of eating a huge pulled pork sandwich late last night. It was piled high like shredded cardboard headed to the recycling plant. It seemed to be seared to culinary perfection. It smelled like squealing delight. I smothered […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™Interminable Oration. I am staring at her mouth wondering if her jaw is held together with some space age polymer used by NASA. Her pie hole is a blur. Open. Shut. Open. Her lips are flapping like an oscillating fan spinning at a hundred miles an hour. The music in […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ The British Open. Wow. Rain and wind and crazy history. It was the 144th Open Championship at St. Andrews, Scotland. The course has roads dissecting it, an ocean bordering it, and bunkers that are tougher than a fire walker’s callouses. This tournament had everything from rain […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ The spider house. The woman is upset. She has every right to be upset. There are brown recluse spiders in her light fixture. Most are dead. One is still alive, moving around in the silhouette of the light. “It’s so gross,” she says almost folding in […]
You know what’ s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ The median. What the hell am I doing out here? It’s like an automotive deserted island. I’m a freak show in a grass cage, as hundreds of cars drive by, gawking, staring, wondering. “What the hell is that news man doing out there?” It’s 90 […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™ Angry Dwarfs. It’s like crazy birds or wacky weasels without the free app. Angry Dwarfs sounds like a drinking game at State College. Toss the little person in the red solo cup and every one drink. From the totally absurd department, this one is a real knee […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™ 3-D My friend says to me, “I don’t know if it is worth the extra money.” I look at him and laugh. He is wearing his goofy 3D glasses and his Windsor knot scarf inside the theater. Oh it’s worth it Oliver Twist. It’s worth it. […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Staring at the interminable void and putting down thoughts. The white space on my computer screen is alluring and intimidating. It calls to me like a child predator with a candy apple. I am afraid, still I shuffle closer. “hello little boy. Would you like to write a […]