You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Prehistoric stupidity. How dumb are humans? Intelligence fluctuates between soap dish skum and toe nail clippings. If Darwin had his way, all the stupid fools on this planet would forget how to inhale. They would close their eyes and disappear in a paste of sedentary goo. But […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ The Jared Conspiracy. Are you kidding me? The guy loses 200 pounds eating Subway sandwiches. He’s a nobody, a fat guy, a ticking time bomb of cholesterol. And then he stumbles onto a culinary gold mine of an idea. This over weight jiggle belly starts eating every […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ The bag boy’s overwhelming needs to question my grocery etiquette. “You want your milk in a bag sir?” I stare at him. He’s a punk ass kid with pimples and bad breath. He wears a smock for a living. His collar is stained with his own neck […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ The Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest. Is it America? Is it tradition? It sure is disgusting. I tune in once again to ESPN, and there it is, center stage from Coney Island. A thousand or more people screaming, holding signs, waving hot dog symbolism like that […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ The young boy who became a soldier and a man. I’m watching this baby soldier stand tall and proud at the front of the cathedral. It’s an open air pavilion, the wall is the sky. The alter is the sun. The angels are dancing on a cloud […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy?™ College Saturdays. I’m sitting in the backyard. I have the windows open and I’m listening to the Auburn vs Clemson game. The announcers are hyped. The crowd is roaring. The electricity that is college football is in the air. Listening to a game is nothing like […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™ 4th of July commercialism. The Fourth is America’s birthday. It’s about patriotism and pie. It’s about founding fathers and fire works. It’s about Independence and Hot Dog eating contests. The 4th of July is sparklers and the beach and bar b que with all the fixings. […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ The coffee break. I’m sitting outside on the patio sipping a double frappe whoopee semi mocha full choco nutty buddy latte. It’s delicious, slathered with caffeinated cool and topped with fattening whipped cream. Just holding this cup of sugary incantations has added pounds to my ass. […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Getting shot 11 times and living. I stub my toe and think the world is coming to an end. This victim? Well he defies all logic. I am sitting in a small room just off the solarium on the 6th floor of the hospital. The roof […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ The animosity that lurks, that slithers along the periphery of humanity, that suckles at the teet of intolerance. The man on the other end of the phone is angry. His words are snake venom, his sentences karate blows to the adam’s apple. I don’t see him, but […]