You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™ FESTIVUS According to some obscure published report, Festivus is the time to gather around an aluminum pole, tell your loved ones all the ways they have disappointed you, and wrestle the head of the household. This sounds like Easter at my house where the kids throw hard boiled […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™Shopping during the holidays. It’s a claustrophobic wrestling match in a lead suit. As I walked up the stairs at the local mall, side stepping tweens and idiots texting, I felt like an insect in an ant farm of compression. Shoppers were squeezing in on me and oxygen […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™ Christmas Birthdays. If you are born on December 25th, then God Bless you. If you are born anywhere from December 21st to the 30th of December then I feel your pain and share the emptiness that fills your holiday heart. I’m born 4 days after Christmas […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy?™Going to a bar for a beer and ending up smoking a pack of cigarettes through your skin.I don’t smoke. Never have smoked. But I sure do enjoy a Corona with a lime in an adult drinking establishment. That presents a paradox of likes and dislikes. I want […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy. Paying for college. O M G! You have to go to college just to understand the process for getting a kid into college. The other night I went to Franklin High School to get an hour long course on what is financially available for me as […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™ suspenders that keep your saggy ass pants from being too saggy ass. If you hate Saggy Baggy Pants then you might hate the saggy baggy pants Garter Belt even more. I KNOW I DO.This next story is from the better mouse trap department. OR Homey’s pants […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy!™ A Naked Postal Worker Arrested for Special Delivery. what was this guy delivering? Nuts? Balls? Birthday Suits? DATELINE: MILWAUKEE, Wisconsin According to the local paper, a male postal worker was arrested after making a delivery completely naked.Talk about maximum shrinkage! Dude what were you thinking? Wisconsin in […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™ Opening up your high school text book and reading: “Jesus was a wine guzzling vagrant and precocious socialist.” Yikes. Just to keep your cards and letters to a minimum, I didn’t write that. You see those quotation marks right? I mean, how does this get by […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™ Not knowing when to make your move romantically. Have you ever moved in to kiss a woman and she turns her head and you end up chipping your tooth on her “she can do better than you” face? Have you ever stared at a girl in a […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.Buying another man’s wedding ring.Dateline Greenville N.C. It’s 1990 and I’m working in the Greenville bureau for WCTI Ch 12. We’re a bunch of young journalists in our late 20’s. We work hard, and we play hard, often hitting the taverns after work to mingle with a […]