You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™
Christmas Birthdays.
If you are born on December 25th, then God Bless you.
If you are born anywhere from December 21st to the 30th of December then I feel your pain and share the emptiness that fills your holiday heart.
I’m born 4 days after Christmas and 2 days before New Years.
It’s like a one two punch to the jaw.
Down goes Frazier. Down Goes Frazier!
As an adult, I’ve gotten use to people treating my birthday with all the enthusiasm of a leaky toilet.
But as a boy, I hated it.
First of all I never once had a birthday party in school with my classmates.
I hear ya, wah wah wah. But I’m going to continue anyway.
I had to sit through Mary Beth Patti’s birthday every year in school. Balloons and cake and happy birthday.
Screw Mary Beth Patti! What did she ever do for me except remind me that my birthday was in the frozen tundra part of the calendar at the end of the year.
Did anyone ever sing me happy birthday in school? NO.
My grandma sang me happy birthday with lipstick all over her cheek. What the hell kind of memory is that?
My parents always said; “happy birthday”
Now-a-days; my sisters can’t even remember it’s my birthday. You know why? Because they have their own damn kids and they are busy cleaning up from Christmas grog and getting ready for New Years hangovers.
Hello!
And though parents often say it’s a blessing to give birth to a child during the Christmas holidays, I think that’s code for:
“WHAT THE HELL ELSE ARE WE GONNA TELL PEOPLE.”
After all the Christmas Shopping and addressing of Christmas Cards and buying of Christmas Stocking stuffers, the late December birthdays arrive.
Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas. And Happy Hanukkah while you’re at it.
It’s a birthday for the invisible man. It’s lost in the shuffle, like a poker player dealing aces from the bottom of the deck.
Remeber what your parents use to tell you; “this is your special “Christmas-Birthday” gift.
Great. Thanks. Just what I wanted, a special gift that is really just a regular gift that takes up two of my most special days.
I don’t blame parents for the big Christmas-Birthday gift. I mean if you can buy your child an XBOX and call it a special BIRTHDAY-CHRISTMAS present, that’s cheaper than buying an XBOX for one holiday and a bicycle for the other, which is what the parents of Christmas kids might have done if the child was born in August or September.
It’s not like Labor Day is causing any counseling issues for Labor Day birthday children.
According to published reports, A Christmas child often gets presents that are wrapped in holiday paper, which is easier and cheaper than buying a whole birthday roll. Yet, as Parenting Squad Dot Com points out, a birthday present wrapped in Christmas paper can make a child feel cheated. It ruins the birthday theme and makes them feel insignificant in comparison to the larger holiday just ahead.
EXACTLY.
How can my birthday possibly stack up against JESUS’ birthday. People pretend they care, but they really just want to celebrate Jesus’ birthday. I get it. My birthday or Christ’s birthday. It’s not like the Pope is calling me to say happy birthday boy. I get it.
And for those of us born right after Christmas and right before New Years, it’s even worse. Who wants to talk about going to your birthday party when they are hung over from Christmas Nog and they claim they are going to ring in the new year in a couple of days.
It’s just not fair.
According to the Parenting Squad; have your Christmas baby’s birthday away from the home so his birthday theme is anything but Christmas trees Christmas lights and Christmas stockings. That gets tired fast.
Give him rodeo cowboys and clowns and spider man. He knows its Christmas and you know it’s Christmas but at least its a chance to pretend.
I’m done whining. But keep it in mind as you wrap the presents and tie the bows this holiday season.
Somewhere out there is a kid whose birthday is getting swept under the mat and I’m sure it’s making him a little bit crazy.