You know what’s Crazy? I’ll tell you what’s Crazy!
Nick Nolte’s Mug Shot is Crazy.
When I see this I can’t help but wonder; what the hell was going on here?
It looks like a cockatoo lost a fight with a blender.
It looks like 3 colors of playdough nuked in a microwave.
This is what your stomach looks like after a couple of Double Chili Cheese Burgers and few shots of Patron.
Whatever happened here, and I am sure there is a reasonably good explanation, I’m pretty sure you don’t want your teenage daughter anywhere near it.
You know what I’m talking about right?
Can you imagine seeing this on the red carpet at the Kodak theater?
Photographers’ light bulbs crackling. Reporters shouting like hyenas.
“Nick, Nick, what are you wearing?”
I imagine Mr. Nolte squinting through alcohol soaked eye balls, trying to dislodge the cob webs out of his crusty pupils. After focusing on the bright vomit stained Hawaiian swirls on his chest, Mr. Nolte Burps a technicolor bubble of booze, wipes his face with the crook of his elbow and says;
“what am I wearing? Who cares!”
And with that, the personification of crazy pushes his palm tree styled hair out of his face and moves on.
And that my friends is why I always say ;Crazy is as Crazy does.