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glue your lady action shut

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ A mother tearing off her child’s genitals because she’s angry. If this story wasn’t true, I’d think it was made up on Saturday Night Live. If it wasn’t so atrociously disgusting, I’d have expected to have read it on a men’s room partition. It’s the kind […]

that inner voice

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Getting so worn down, so stressed out, so beat up, you feel like you just played rugby on broken glass. I am tired. I feel like I could sleep standing up. I feel like I could sleep driving my car. I feel like I can sleep right now […]

Screw You

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Malicious tire puncture! Slice, Pop, Hiss. For the last 6 months someone has been throwing razor-sharp screws and nails across a heavily traveled road. For the last 6 months, motorists have been getting flat tires. No one has crashed, or been hurt, but residents are understandably […]

The Italians

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Watching a world cup with someone who bleeds cup, breathes corner kicks, understands offsides. It’s 5pm Saturday afternoon, do you know where your Italian Soccer fan-club is? I do. He’s sitting next to me at the Buffalo Wild Wings in Franklin, Tennessee. A hundred screens are […]

shirtless cup

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ The World Cup. Here we go Earth. Hang on to your sombrero and shake your money makers. The World Cup is about to pull up its skirt and blow you all a kiss. Men will cry. Children will sing. Lady parts will melt like butter on […]

Vanquish the Machine

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ stifling creative energy. In the course of 24 hours, I have been told no less than twice to mute my effusive personality. The mechanism that informed me of this has the creative luster of a truck stop bathroom. Normally, I am a broken sprinkler of enthusiasm. I […]

The World Cup? Is that football?

know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™ World Cup Soccer! America is just waking up to the beautiful game. To Americans, Futbol is really football. On the American-centric view of the sporting universe, Football ranks very high on our top ten list. In fact I have compiled the top 10 list of American’s favorite […]

The Hummingbird’s Wing

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Printer 5. Sometimes crazy is big. Sometimes crazy is a huge moment, a whirl wind of energy pouring out of the mountains blowing back your hair. Sometimes crazy is a Matahorn expedition with Sherpas and ice picks and a box of Kool Aid. But sometimes crazy […]

COUNTRY FRIED BIKINI

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Sitting next to the loud-speaker at the community pool. As I walk in to the crowded venue, I scan the periphery for a place to sit. My gaze dances across the pool deck. Fat and white and blobs of cellulite and pool and life guard towers […]

California Chrome

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ The California Chrome Rant As you have undoutedbly heard, California Chrome lost the Belmont on Saturday. The Belmont is the 3rd race in the triple crown that starts with the Kentucky Derby, followed by the Preakness. It’s the Holy Grail of horse racing. There hasn’t been […]