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Monthly Archive for: ‘July, 2013’
Home Run Derby

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ the Major League baseball home run contest. I love this event. It’s a spectacle. It’s the hot dog eating contest with a bat and a ball. It’s fireworks on a baseball diamond. It’s hot sauce chased with jalapenos. It is the reason we like baseball. They say […]

Wiener

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Anthony Weiner and his dwindling staff. OOOOH. That’s sounds creepy, doesn’t it? Anthony Weiner? This guy is more uncomfortable than Amish porn. Anthony Weiner is a strange creepy man who should be on a milk carton, not the nightly news. By now most of you know […]

Holiday World 2013

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Holiday World The annual trek to Santa Claus, Indiana is complete and once again, I have come away with memories that are burned into my frontal lobe, like the time you saw your grandma coming out of the shower. YIKES! The day starts grey and cold. […]

motor city meltdown

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ The motor city melt down. Detroit Rock City is Bankrupt. The city wrote a check it cannot cash. Say it with me sports fans – Motown is No Mo. BK for the 313. Say it ain’t so, Joe. After losing half its population over the years, Motor […]

Baby Prince

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Baby Cambridge AKA George Alexander AKA the baby king. His royal highness, the baby has arrived. Thank Goodness. Now we can go on to other things. A plane from Nashville crash lands at Laguardia and it takes almost 6 minutes into the morning news to see […]

Kanye

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Kanye West. As my 6th grade teacher use to ask us “WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?” Damn times have changed, haven’t they? Now we can’t even throw a dodge ball at a kid’s face, but I digress. Kanye Likes Publicity when it’s on […]

Snorting gum II

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Snorting a piece of gum into your respiratory system. Saturday morning, that is the crazy thought that is swirling inside my brain. (see snorting gum I) Cliff Notes Version: I was working out, chewing gum. I know a No No. Never again, right? And Zip. Big […]

Snorting Gum

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Breathing. I was working out Saturday morning. Huff. Puff. Huff. Puff. Sweat is dancing on my forehead, my chest is heaving, my lungs are sucking in O2 like a vacuum pump. To help keep me focused, I have a big wad of chewing gum in my […]

Notarized Confession

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Notarized confessions. It’s like Taxi Cab Confessions, except rolling around like a drunk ass in the back of a cab, you’re sorry ass goes to the glass house. You know why Notarized Confessions are  crazy? Because it’s like waving the white flag of surrender. If you’re […]

You Got That Jam?

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Interns. They are young and dumb and full of desire. They come to businesses eager and wide eyed and ready to please Interns are dancing between two worlds. They have one foot in college and one foot in the work place. They have an eye on […]