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Monthly Archive for: ‘February, 2011’

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™ Making ice cream out of breast milk. Wait a moment while I clean the vomit off my lap top. Are you kidding me? Why not make hamburgers out of lipo-suction lard? Go ahead and make me a double breasted suit out of man hair.I’m not that […]

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy!™ The idea that, Beer is the new Gatorade. That’s like saying 40 is the new 30. NO IT’S NOT. 30 is the new 30. 40 is the old 40. Your gut sags. You wear those stupid glasses to read. You cholesterol is thick like curdled cheese. […]

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy!™ Digging up the remains of your dead wife and tossing them on the family grill. A little cajun spice, a little lemon juice, a little Tobasco! Honey you never tasted so good. Why would someone go all Charles Manson like that? Was the guy a canibal? […]

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy!™ Deciphering crazy in your fellow man. There’s a pervasive and inescapable truth in life. We all have a little crazy haunting us from the inside out. My crazy demon looks a little like Mel Gibson in Braveheart. He is a blue faced Scotsman who is prepared to do […]

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™ An athlete getting fined for spitting. In this over-regulated, heavily-saturated, rule-induced world we live in, when is enough enough? DATELINE: Persian Gulf It’s here that the European Golf Tour recently fined Tiger Woods for expectorating on the green. Expectorating! Not urinating. Not masturbating! Not sexting hookers in […]

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™ Using your ass as a storage facility. Dateline: SARASOTA, Fla. It’s not unusual for a cavity search at jail to turn up contraband, but wait till you read the manifest that jailers plucked out of one inmate’s buttocks. According to published reports, jailers pulled a condom out […]

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™ writer’s block. We’ve all heard people say, “I can’t write I have writer’s block.” I was thinking about that the other day. What is writer’s block? Is it something physical, like one lineman running into another, pads churning and sweat flying. Is writer’s block a brick […]

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™ The preponderance of tattoos in this country. On butts, and backs and cheeks and forearms. If there is skin, you can almost count on seeing some ink. And the only place you’ll see more ink than a prison shower in on the floor of an NBA […]

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™ Young women find men with dogs sexier than men with smart phones. Hello! This was clearly evident when it started to rain and all the hot chicks screamed, “I’m riding with Noah, the dude with all the animals. But Noah can talk to God? I don’t care […]

The Grammys present: Bob what he say Dylan

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy. Bob Dylan on the Grammy’s. That was crazy, excruciatingly crazy. In a show that saw Lady Ga Ga enter in an egg, Justin Bieber pull his collar up like he was cool, and Will.I.am look robotic in a suit accentuated with tin foil, Bob Dylan looked […]

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