You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™
Young women find men with dogs sexier than men with smart phones.
Hello!
This was clearly evident when it started to rain and all the hot chicks screamed, “I’m riding with Noah, the dude with all the animals. But Noah can talk to God? I don’t care he has a llama and I’m into Lamas”
And so it goes.
Have you ever heard a gaggle of women proclaim; “That guy’s a dog!”
I have. They say it with contempt and a smattering of spit, but deep down inside, maybe, just maybe, that’s what they are really looking for.
It makes me wonder why more guys aren’t bringing their Chihuaha to the local tavern.
“Yo quiero chicas bonitas”
Maybe deep down, women just want a little dog in their man.
DATELINE: MEAT MARKET, U.S.A.
According to published reports; 50% of men surveyed thought seeing someone using a smartphone was attractive. Half of the men! But only 36 percent of women shared that sentiment. That means 64% of women didn’t become stimulated by this visual fellas.
This latest finding comes from Retrevo.com a consumer electronic shopping site.
Trusting this data is akin to Radio Shack predicting sexual satisfaction based on the sale of alkaline batteries.
If Retrevo.com is even remotely accurate, then all it takes is a puppy or a cock-a-teel or a ferret to gain a girl’s affecions.
That’s bad news for all you dudes out there with the latest 4-G palm pilot.
And from what I have seen, there’s a lot of you out there trying to lure women to you with the blue hue of a cell phone.
What do you think you have in your hands? A light house and your alerting all ships at sea to come into safe harbors?
Go to any night spot now-a-days and look into the darkness. What you will see is a world illuminated by a incandescent glow. Every head is down, staring into the irradiated void.
These people act like they have so much going on in some alternate universe that they don’t even need to look at you.
There are so many people staring at the phosporescent screens of their PDA’s you wonder if the combined radiation is causing nearby testicles to go sterile.
Is staring at our phone the new millennium reality? Is the cyber world it connects us to really more important than the human being sitting across the table?
Is it rude to take your conversation and your eyes away from the person in real space to check a text from some moron you wouldn’t even talk to if they were sitting in real life across the table from you?
What I see in reality is rude. People break eye contact, stop discussion, and stare at a machine. People disengage to text, extricate themselves from reality to surf, blow off humanity to caress a silicon powered chip.
It is a socially accepted rudeness. To me it is the equivalent of technological belching in public. There is a time and place for everything and sadly, ignoring human beings to stare at a 2 inch screen has gained favor like Brette Favre texting pictures of his man junk to a co-worker.
Back to the survey:
“Women under 35 say they are more attracted to someone walking a dog than someone using a cool phone.
A poll by Playboy.com says a high percentage of men also like watching women use electronic gadgets that don’t necessarilly have internet access? Go figure.
I was in a night spot recently watching a guy with an iphone lighting up the darkness with a neon colored app. He was standing there, for an hour, just flipping his iphone lighter – a ZIPPO – back and forth. I guess he felt it was a chick turn on. Flame on. Flame off. Flame on. His eyes darted around the bar, like a serial killer looking for a victim.
He thought he was James Dean. I thought he was Johnny Dweeb. He ended up leaving the bar alone.
Like I always say: Chicks dig video lighters! yeah right.
And how bout that iphone favorite: Guess the correct urinal. That is where you have to pick which urinal you would use while video patrons stand at nearby urinals. I am not sure how long a girl will play with this app unless urinal management is high on her list of priorities.
This Gadgetology study clearly indicates that Men are stupid and Women are crazy.
Men and Women. Women and Men. Our parts fit, but we don’t.
We are so different that we can’t agree on anything, including whether a dog or an iphone app is more of a turn on.
A dog or a smart phone? It’s so obscure, so diametrically opposed, it’s like talking about asteroids and applesauce. What does one have to do with the other?
The answer nothing.
Which is why in a MEN ARE STUPID – WOMEN ARE CRAZY WORLD – it is the one constant that you can count on.
Whether you like asteroids or applesauce is not the issue. What I can tell you is this: If women like applesauce, men will like asteroids. It’s primordial.
Which takes us full circle. The next time you want to impress a girl. Bring a puppy to the bar. I guarantee you more attention than a urinal app could ever generate, and at the end of the day, isn’t that what we all want; human interaction and a furtive smile.
Let’s see your iphone wink at you through a lock of flowing hair. If your Droid gives you a rush of blood to that special place, you might want to consult your doctor.
Or get some applesauce, or an asteroid, or well…
it’s all crazy.