I was going through my old vault of writing, cleaning house, freeing up space, so to speak.
I am going to be purging for a while.
Out with the old and in with the new, so to speak.
But I came across this article from last year which made me laugh.
Enjoy.
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™
The strip club idiot.
According to Seattle Police; a 27 year old peeping tom was arrested for sneaking into a ceiling above the dancer’s dressing room.
That’s right.
The guy is in a strip club full of naked women and he decides he is going to get him a better look at naked women from a peep hole in a ceiling.
Hey freak-show, there’s dozens of naked women on stage. Women with tassels and thongs and humping a pole. It costs you a dollar to watch? A DOLLAR!
A $20 gets you a lap dance?
They bring you a cool adult beverage if you desire.
They are naked.
They pretend to like you, to care about you.
And you need to go CIA in the ceiling?
What’s up homo-erotica?
got a thing for pink fiberglass?
You like spider webs?
You like to see partially clad strippers smoking cigarettes and wiping mascara off their faces?
What web site you been frequenting lately?
A police report quotes one of the Lusty Lady Strippers: “I was startled when (the man’s) legs came crashing through the glass panel ceiling above me.”
I bet it did honey.
I mean it’s wall to wall boobs and butts out front. Why would a guy sneak into a crawl space to catch a peek?
Sneaking into a stripper’s dressing room is like sneaking into the freezer at Burger King to gnaw on a frozen burger.
It’s like sneaking a bottle of Jack Daniels into the Jack Daniels factory.
The man was booked into King County Jail for investigation of malicious mischief.
He should have been booked into the King county mental health ward for cranial testing.
The Lusty Lady’s famous marquee reads:”We’re open, not clothed.”
Maybe peeper can’t read.
Maybe he’s not into pink boas and little sailor suits.
Maybe he’s into bathrobes, curlers, and bimbos smoking cigarettes.
The Lusty Lady is a place for beers, not champagne. It’s a place for fried pickles not cavier. If I’m at the Lusty Lady I am not reading the Wall Street Journal, I am not reading the bible.
I’m throwing dollar bills on the stage and taking in all the pultritude in eye shot.
I’m definitely not sneaking into the ceiling above the dressing room.
Here at the Crazy Dept. when a man sneaks into a dressing room to see naked women in a strip club,we say: keep the moron in jail, and make sure the Lusty Lady is never clothed.
And that is crazy™