You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy!
Any time your city has the word OZARK in it, you know the water is tainted with STD’s and the air filtered with paint fumes.
According to published reports, Ozark police respond to a domestic situation between a mother and her ten year old daughter.
How bad could a domestic involving a ten year old be? What does she weigh? 67 pounds?
Apparently the mother lacks the parenting skills to get her child to go to bed at a reasonable hour. Same thing happens at every home in America. Do you call the local cops to help you turn down the sheets?
In Ozark Arkansas, kid sasses you, and bam, it’s on the horn with 9 1 1
911: This is 911, what is your emergency?
CRAPPY PARENT: Uh, my little girl won’t brush her teeth and go to bed.
911: OK, Mam. So what do you want the police to do about it?
CRAPPY PARENT: Do you think you could send a couple of uniforms out here? Oh, and can you make sure their tazers are fully charged.
Are you kidding me?
What kind of brain damage does the city of Ozarks have?
More than a few aspiring can fix, obviously, because on November 18th, 2009, cops respond to just such a call.
Officer Dustin Bradshaw is the cop who made the “weak” decision to taze a ten year old.
According to published reports, he watches the little girl and her mother exchange unpleasantries for a while. Perhaps there is even a bit of physicality. The mother says go to bed. The girl says go to hell moma–cita. The mother turns to the cop and, in the BABY EINSTEIN MOMENT OF THE YEAR, says “go ahead and shock her ass.”
At first, the officer tries to restrain the ten year old. She resists. I bet that was ferocious. 67 pound girl in feety pajamas going up against the man.
What else could officer Bradshaw do? So he reaches for the utility belt and pulls the hardware.
ZZZZAAAAPPPP!
The ten year old hits the floor like wet laundry. Game Set Match. Nighty Night sweetheart. Ozark P.D. is on the scene.
A couple of questions here.
What kind of cop can’t subdue a ten year old girl. If you can’t control a 4th grader, then you really need to re-examine your career choice.
Why not pepper spray her in the face? That would have gotten her attention? How bout a baton to the throat? That would have stopped her whining, right?
She’s ten years old. How tough can she be. A few hours earlier she was in the elementary school playground goofing around playing four square with other gawky pre teens.
Yo Bradshaw: If you can’t control a ten year old, am i really suppose to think you can lay down the law in crack alley? Some banger comes up on your ass, are you really ready to take care of business? You sound like the kind of cop who doesn’t even roll down the window or get out of the car on that call.
I was tased before. I asked the cops to do it. It was a little bit scary, and a little bit intimidating. Once the barbs hit the vest I was wearing, and the electricity started to pulse, I was done. I was like a microwaved hot dog weenie. My skin got tight and balls started saluting my ass. I got rigamortis and then fell face forward into the waiting hands of laughing cops.
I am a grown man. I asked for it. But a ten year old girl? That is so lame, it’s unbelievable.
What kind of man tazes a child? If you worked in the hospital, you’d be tearing i.v.’s out of patients’ arms.
If you worked at the zoo, you’d be lighting the pandas on fire.
If you worked at a bakery, you’d be spitting in the batter.
According to published reports, after shocking the little girl, the much calmer child was successfully cuffed, carried to a police car, and driven to a shelter.
Hooray. The adults win.
Forget about time out as a disciplinary tool.
Break out the Tasers mom and dad. It’s time to whoop some ass.
Just like clubbing baby seals.
And that is Crazy.