You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy!
The incredible advancements in Medical Technology.
Remember that 70’s tv show the six million dollar man. The opening montage shows Col. Steve Austin’s super-sonic test plane crashing. Then there is hospital beeping and super spy Harry Goldman watching pensively.
Then the narrator says:
Steve Austin. Astronaut. A man barely alive. We can rebuild him. We have the technology. we have the technology to make the world’s first bionic man. Steve Austin will be that man.
Better Stronger Faster.
So the Secret Government spy organization gives him two bionic legs, a bionic right arm and a bionic eye.
It was fiction. A medical glimpse of the future.
Future welcome to the present.
May I introduce you to the real six million dollar man. Well sort of. His name is Ged Galvin.
The Brit was seriously jacked up in a motorcycle accident 2 years ago. Doctors miraculously put this 55 year old back together.
They fixed broken bones and shattered legs and a busted pelvis. His retina was detached and they re-attached that.
What doctors couldn’t fix was his ass.
Lest you think I jest, the muscles that control bathroom function apparently were irreparably destroyed.
For a while Galvin had to use a colostomy bag.
After his accident, Galvin couldn’t control his sphincter muscles, instead having to defecate through his abdomen, into a bag.
Galvin now has a six million dollar rectum. Well sort of.
Doctors installed a pace maker type device in his “bum” that essentially opens and closes his rear portal.
To operate the device he keeps a cell phone-sized remote control in his pocket at all times.
Sometimes it opens his garage door, sometimes it lets him poop normally.
It ain’t exactly the stuff of spy stories, but it is pretty cool.
Galvin said it has given him a new lease on life. “I’ve been through immense pain and suffering,” “And here I am with this bionic bottom now. I feel great. I feel fantastic.”
Go get em Galvin, live life hard and fast, Steve Austin Style!