You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™
The story I just read about a couple having sex on a table.
Was the restaurant closed? No.
Was this a private party? No.
This was the dinner rush. Families were all around.
But when you gotta get your groove on, Bam.
The Orlando couple reportedly climbed on the table, the man on his back, his pants down, and the woman got on him like he was a Disney ride.
“Mommy that lady’s skirt is over her head?”
The manager came out and said “Excuse me mam. You’ll need to get down from there.”
“She can’t get down right now brah.” the excited guys professes.
“I’m gonna call the police.”
“Dude I’ working here.” he might have countered.
Women screaming. Children crying. Father’s outwardly angered, but internally wishing they could order from the take out menu like this guy.
With the police on the way, the manager tells Casanova to pay the bill. It’s about 100 dollars.
He refuses.
Huh?
Didn’t he feel like he got bang for his buck?
Was his tuna undercooked?
Was he gonna go dutch instead of reverse cowgirl?
What the hell.
The guy was charged. And now he is the smile of the internet.
Rock on restaurant dude. You took the concept of hors duevers to a whole new level.
Most of us hope to take a girl out and if the planets align, we’ll get to take her home.
You took all the guess work out of that one, nailing your date between the drink order and the delivery of the buns. They even let you spread your own butter.
So you got arrested. So some kids have some questions for their parents. So you didn’t get a breath mint on the way out.
Live long and prosper Mr. diner.
You only live once. You can dine without having sex on the table pretty much anywhere.
And that is crazy.™