You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.
The change of season.
Hurricane Sandy is pounding the East Coast.
Manhattan is flooding. Atlantic City NJ is overwhelemed. Tunnels look like funnels. Subway stations are like salt water fish bowls. People on roof tops, NYC’s lower Battery dark.
The East Coast is getting punched in the face like a sand blaster ripping paint off an old car.
Just West of the hurricane, winter has emerged from it’s angry lair like a hungry bear ready to consume everything that can be digested.
From North Carolina to Eastern Tennessee, cities are seeing hurricane snow.
Other cities like Nashville have been spared. Thank God. We’ve seen flooding before. But trust me. It is not nice here. It is windy, raw, cold.
Crank up the heat and smell that distinct burn in the air.
But at least the ocean isn’t knocking at the door and the wind isn’t trying to blow my house down.
It’s cold? Yeah it’s cold. But it is dry. But damn it is cold.
So what do you do? Well, go to the closet and dust off the moth balls on the turtle necks. Get out the scarffs, makes sure you are warm. Find the gloves the hats the long underwear.
Sadly, if you live on Long Island, you need a scuba suit and a row boat.
O M G.
It was 80 degrees 3 days ago. Now it’s sub 50. And of course the entire Eastern Seaboard is a weather pinatta.
Suddenly the election is nowhere to be seen on the news. Funny how a national calamity can do that.
it’s in the 50’s right now, but not being climatized, 50 feels like Eskimo, nose rubbing, blubber eatin, baby seal clubbin, ice fishin with tip ups…
C O L D.
I was on a soccer field late Saturday evening. The sun was low in the sky and the clouds were dark and grey as if being delivered by the Polar Express itself.
I saw hats and scarfs and people hugging themselves on the sideline. Sit no stand no sit no stand.
No position was warmer than another.
Soccer moms were jogging in place, their soccer mom thighs and tummy’s and soccer mom body parts jiggling in all directions under a multitude of layers of store bought warmth.
A friend says to me “I love this weather.”
I look at him like he’s an escapee from a mental institution.
“I hate this weather,” I respond.
My fingers and toes are on fire in an icy cold kind of way.
Love this weather? I’ll take the heat and sunshine any day.
An umbrella will help cool you off immediately.
There is no amount of clothing that will warm you up.
This weather sucks. This time of year is the worst. I know the big box stores are gearing up for Black Thursday and Xmas shopping, but I am all ready dreaming of spring.
Put another log on the fire and lace up your man hood people because Mother Nature is about ready to open up a can of frosty whoop ass.
Good luck East Coast. You are waterlogged, devestated, scared. The rest of us are freezing and we feel your pain.
And that’s crazy.