You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.
SUPERBOWL PRE GAME HYPE
I love it. I will watch 8 hours of this Superbowl flavored cheese spread.
It’s just talk and puff pieces and pontification and blowhards blowing hard.
I still love it. I love the Superbowl. After today, there is no more football for 6 months. It is a wasteland of sporting who cares.
Here are some random ruminations as I over dose on pigskin flavor.
The topics are as diverse as straw scattered in the wind. What could wrong for the giants? Who will win the turnover battle? Too many possessions for Tom Brady spells doom for the G-Men. Don’t forget what got you here, Mike Ditka bellows in an incomplete sentence he has become famous for.
The Giants front four, the Pats slot receivers. Somebody’s mom cooks cakes, HUH? It’s crazy.
I just watched Adam Sandler predict the Patriots because he wants the Giants to win and he is always wrong, so he picked the Patriots to ensure a Giant win. Could be prophetic.
GOT IT?
And his new movie, which he is hawking is rated R. Watch out kids.
I am watching NBC and ESPN and the NFL Channel. I am a Superbowl junkie inhaling football crack while X’s and O’s dance across my brain. Where’s my remote control. It is like a magic wand bringing me more pre-game imagery.
I am watching Jerry Rice blather through a segment mispronouncing names and misstating facts. It’s tough to watch. Just because you are the best wide receiver in the history is not a passport to be on every sports show trying to elaborate eloquently. Sit down Jerry Rice.
Now I’m in the locker room with NBC. They are talking about who is a better Tight End Grontkowski or Hernandez. They both rock. Another crazy segment. Producers are drinking all week long to conjure this crap up.
Oh, another commercial, where is my remote control.
I’m back on ESPN NFL countdown presented by IBM, I might add.
They are airing an NFL films types segment making previous superbowls seem like the landing on the beaches in Normandy. No sport lends itself to the cinematic battle like football.
Only 5 and a half hours till kickoff. What is left to talk about ?
Plenty apparently..
TJ’s X factor. He is talking about Matt Light, a Patriots offensive lineman. Boring.
I am wondering if Madonna will keep her nipples scotch taped and in check during the half time show. I hope not, always like a quick nipple shot during a half time show.
this is SUPERBOWL XLVI
What is XLVI? Who remembers roman numeral math? X = 10 but before L = 50 means take away 10, so that is 40, but then there’s V=5 and I = 1 so you add 6 to 40 and you get 46? Who thought this was a good idea?
Best nickname? THE LAW FIRM. That’s Ben Jarvis Green Ellis. He is a running back for the Patriots. 576 carries and never fumbled. He is sure to fumble today. Way to go Law Firm.
NBC has a red carpet segment. Less about X’s and O’s. More about sex appeal and celebrities and promoting new shows because why not?
I love the sweeping, aerial camera shots. It’s ethereal with booming music. 5 hours to go and I’m starting to get some tingles. I am thinking about cracking a beer in honor the Budweiser Clydesdales.
Now a serious degradation in programming; NBC rolls out “Time for the Ritz Cracker tailgate challenge.
“Superbowl Sunday is the biggest food day of the year outside Thanksgiving”, the bald dude I never heard of says.
Cut to: Two chefs inside a fake kitchen inside Lucas Stadium. They are going to make what they say is a typical Superbowl meal.
Really? Chef one is making seasoned Ahi Tuna on a Ritz? Typical?
The other chef is making your typical crab butter and curry with mustard sea caviar. Really, caviar on a Ritz.
“Is all that gonna fit on a Ritz?” the bald dude asks.
“It better,” chef 2 says.
Caviar on a Ritz? That is like putting 14 K gold rims on a 1972 Chevelle. Really? This segment sucks. Where’s my damn remote?
ESPN has a funny segment, Superbowl flavored C’mon man. They show Leon Lett fumbling at the goal line and Jackie Smith dropping Roger Staubach’s sure TD pass. COME ON MAN! And then they show ESPN commentator Chris Carter at the top of the zip line tower and he is talking about loving everyone and someone take the harness off his crotch. “I can’t do this,” he says, obviously scared. C’mon man. The guys rip his ass. “If it is safe, why do you need a helmet” Ditka laughs.
Click. NBC. A Very pregnant Jessica Simpson is spewing something about a fashion tv show. Her jowls are tiny ham hocks shaking and she is rubbing her belly constantly. FAIL. CLICK.
The results are in. Tuna Ritz vs Crab Ritz. Tuna wins. Hooray. I feel better about the day now. Now where’s my can of cheez wiz?
Click. Victor Salsa Dancing Cruz is on all three channels at the same time. That is immersion. Cruz. Salsa dancing. It’s all coming full circle.
CLICK. Back to the NFL Channel.
Michael Irvan is screaming: WHO WILL BE A BEAST? Hilarious.
The NFL NETWORK IS KILLING ME as they stare into the camera and their eyes are bugging out and they talk about who is going to be a beast.
Someone says Madonna is going to be a beast. They laugh. Wonder if they were talking about her sex tapes with Dennis Rodman.
CLICK.
Tails failed.
The Giants win a thriller 21-17.
Great game. lived up to all the hype.