You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™
Running for the border, only to find out the border is made of soy products and beef filler.
Lo Siento Taco Bell.
By now you have heard that a former Taco Bell manager is suing Taco Bell essentially asking Where’s the beef?
The manager alleges that Taco Bell uses something less than USDA approved meat, instead filling your burrito with meat extenders.
In case you are wondering, meat extenders is what soup kitchen cooks affectionately call donkey. In Mexico it’s called “perro” but that’s another culinary tale for another time.
Sort of makes you want to kick that little Chihuaha dog in it’s hairless ass while yelling “No Quiero Taco Bell”
So it’s the day after the State of the Union Address and FOX News is doing an entire segment on health care? NO. Afghanistan? No!
BEEF EXTENDERS!
HUH?
Yes, Kelly’s Court is belicose and high amplitude insanity as three good looking women, in a split box all shout out their opinions of this topic, all at the same time.
Kelly, who owns this court, screams out; “the signature ingredient in their ground beef is not ground beef as advertised.”
Hot Blonde 1 says, “It’s full of weird stuff and extenders.”
Again the word extenders. It makes me think more about meat being churned in a grinder than I would like to.
My brain is racing. What the hell are Extenders? In meat?
Is that like hair extensions? Is it something that looks like meat but is actually more like Soylent Green which as we all know is PEOPLE!
Oh Crap. Are we eating Human Chalupas? No wonder we’re not running for the border, we’re dashing for the toilet.
Back to Kelly’s Court:
She runs a sound bite with the plaintiffs attorney: “The manager in Atlanta was disturbed. She was upset about the taco meat filling. On the menu it is advertised as beef. We tested it. It was not ground beef.”
Hot Blonde 2: “What is it then?”
Kelly: “Ewwwww!!!”
Not very journalistic, but it certainly conveys her thoughts on the matter.
Hot Blonde 1: “Let me start with the fact taco bell is firing back. The company calls this a lie. They are threatening legal action. They allege her facts are wrong. They say they have the ingredients are on the web site.”
Then the ladies start arguing just how much meat is really meat and how much is beef and how much the USDA recommends and WELL … it is all pretty damn obnoxious.
HOt Blonde 2: “Hey look,” she screams. “If you order something that is made from cow or chicken or pig and you are waiting for change after handing them a dollar, then you are fooling yourself. That’s not real meat. Come on. That is not false advertising it is common sense.”
The women all come to the conclusion that there are ingredients in the Taco meat that is other than beef. What that is makes me loose my appetite.
Kelly: “15% is protein. The other stuff is soy and yeast extract and sodium phosphate and “some beef”
YUM.
Should taco bell be more forthcoming? they wonder.
They do post their ingredient on the web site, but they also promote the meat as beef or Soylent Green.
Hot Blonde 2: They also say as part of their ingredients they put conditioner and anti foaming agent in their food.
KELLY: “Ewwwww. They say that is in their carnitas. That is not in their soda. What is an anti foaming agent?”
Exactly! What is an anti foaming agent and why would whatever it is be in your Taco?
Last taco i made didn’t foam, not one single time.
All I know is this. If Taco Bell doesn’t want to be on Kelly’s Court and in the Crazy cross hairs; I say settle with the former manager and make this all go away.
Adios Taco Bell.
Hola Mickey D’s.
And that is Crazy.