You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy!™
Lethargy.
People are inherently lazy. In a world of microwave ease and instantaneous computations, humans have lost their will to do more.
And now comes word that some internet nut is encouraging people to do even less.
That’s right, this man is suggesting that people take a chill pill and do nothing for 2 minutes.
Wipe your brow everyone, time for an ice tea break.
Telling people to do nothing for two minutes is redundant. It’s like telling a turtle to slow down.
It’s like telling 10 year olds to play more Call of Duty 4.
That’s like telling a freshman congressman not to fondle his same sex aide.
Do nothing for two minutes. I’d like to tell people to do something for two minutes.This absurdity of this internet quest begins with a web site that posts a tranquil photo of a sunrise over the ocean and the sound of waves.
According to published reports, visitors are urged to “just relax and listen to the waves” and not to touch their mouse or keyboard as the time counts down.
Touch your key board and the word: “FAIL” pops up.
Do nothing like the mighty slug you are and the words
“WELL DONE” materializes.
Do nothing and the words Well Done show up. It’s enough to make me vomit in my own mouth.
The creator of this insipid idea says; “how we spend every waking minute of the day with access to an unlimited supply of information, is to the point of information overload.”
Maybe that is why our asses are growing so collectively large.
People I know do nothing all the time. They not only don’t do anything for 2 minutes, they have a rare ability to constantly do nothing for many minutes at a time.
Lined back to back to back, their voluntary inactivity would circle the globe like a jet stream of indolence.
Hurray for not touching your key board for 2 minutes? Give me a break.
If you have 2 minutes, be thankful you have it and do something with it. Don’t celebrate your abilithy to do nothing.
Think positive thoughts for two minutes. Pray for world peace for two minutes. Make a fresh pot of coffee for co-workers rather than letting the little red head girl do it all the time.
Make your two minutes count. Like NIKE tells it’s underaged work force in China, Just do it!
What’s amazing is the fact that 22 percent of people who had answered a poll on the Huffington Post said they were unable to leave their computers dormant for two minutes.
I just have to touch my computer. I love the feeling of my fingers on the cold, plastic key board. I must change my FACEBOOK profile for a 3rd time before lunch. I must twitter that I am going to twitter. I must stay linked in and connected and make love on harmony.com during my coffee break.
Jeez.
A site called SharkBreak.com is billing itself as another place to bring zen to your mouse pad. The website, created to raise awareness of marine life conservation and ocean preservation, offers tranquil views of sea life such as corals and fish.
Users can glide their mouse across the page as a puffer fish, dolphin or shark follows its lead.
I am counter programming here and endorsing polldancer.com. I want to slide my mouse over strippers who toss various items of clothing into the cyber universe. I want bouncers to beat patrons unconscious for touching the dancers. I want my two minutes filled with so much cyber insanity that I not only fail this test, I get arrested and thrown in a Russian Gulag.
And that is crazy.