You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™
Men and Women.
Women and Men.
It’s a boiling pot of DNA.
It’s a misunderstood dynamic as old as time.
Men and women – it’s enigmatic like the Lockness Monster.
Women and men – It’s a black hole in a quasar in alpha centuri.
Women are pocket books.
Men are Call of Duty.
Women are book clubs, flowers and perfume.
Men are fantasy football, biceps and musk.
Books have been written. Jokes have been launched. There are entire YouTube channels dedicated to the premise that we are God’s children and we are nothing alike.
Men and Women. Women and Men.
We are fire and ice.
We are water and oil.
Men and women? We love each other. We hate each other. We don’t understand each other. We try to tolerate one another.
We need each other to survive, to continue the human race.
It’s God’s cruel joke.
Create two organisms that have so little in common yet need to co-exist.
On your mark, get set, propagate.
Men and women drive each other crazy. We are so different and so similar.
If you are a man or a woman, then you probably know this.
It’s so obvious we are different that most of the times we don’t even think about it.
Men and Women. Women and Men.
When it’s good it’s cozy like a comforter out of the dryer.
When it’s bad it’s the cold and flu season.
It’s like a rash, a Christmas sweater on bare skin.
We are two puzzle pieces that fit together, but sometimes you gotta force it.
I was thinking about this the other day when someone sent me a video.
The topic: Men and women are different.
The video, called the Hot Crazy Matrix has 8 million YouTube views.
It features an average, dumpy, stomach hanging over the belt white guy.
He looks like a bank teller wearing a pocket protector.
He could be your neighbor next door.
It’s doubtful he’s sniffed a woman recently.
Or so you’d think.
Then he begins talking.
He’s standing at a white board like he’s a NASA scientist.
He’s drawing a simple mathematical axis.
One side he writes crazy. On the other side he write hot.
From zero to 10 he draws a dissecting line.
His hand moves easily across the white board like Einstein describing sensation of movement in a falling elevator with no windows.
The Crazy Scientist turns to the camera and tells the viewer a woman’s level of crazy is directly proportional on how hot she is.
Crazy Hot Matrix.
It’s hardly accurate, but at the same time it’s amusing because it draws on the universal truth that men are men and women are women and we are not the same.
As I watch this 7 minute lampoon, I feel like the guy is familiar.
Hey isn’t that Franklin City Alderman Dana McLendon?
No way.
Way.
Nobody elected by the people for the people in conservative little Franklin Tennessee would be ballsy enough, creative enough, stupid enough to be ripping half the human race on YouTube.
But this guy does have 8 million views.
Wow. That’s a lot of views.
I call the alderman.
“Hey would you be willing to go on camera and talk about your YouTube video? It’s kinda controversial.”
“I’ve got 3 Hollywood producers interested in the concept,” He says declining my offer.
I hang up.
“Wow”
Hollywood buying up the Crazy Hot Matrix?
And that’s when it hits me.
Men and Women. Women and Men.
It’s the one story that never grows old.
God keeps making more crazy women and idiotic men.
In the master jig saw puzzle of life, there is a non stop supply of puzzle pieces that either don’t fit at all, or fit well enough.
But in the end, venus and mars and men and women.
It simply is what it is.
It’s Cowboys and Indians, Pilgrims and Turkey, Cats and Dogs.
I think about the Franklin City Alderman and wonder “What the hell.” This dumpling of a man with a 7 minute dissertation on the obvious, on the absurd is getting his ticket punched by Hollywood Bozos?
It’s a spoof. A single camera, single take, one long dissertation on one dumpy guy’s perception of men and women.
And that’s when it hits me for the 2nd time.
Men and women. Women and men.
It’s the topic that never goes out of style.
It’s white pants after Labor day. It’s pizza for breakfast. It’s Christmas in July.
We stand to pee. They sit.
We love sports. They could care less.
They love shoes. We would rather spit in the air and catch it in our mouths.
They take an hour to get ready to go out.
We are ready the moment we roll out of bed.
Men and women. Venus and Mars.
It made me think that the possibilities for a crazy series devoted to the sexes has endless possibilities.
Books and calendars and playing cards and tube socks.
If a Humpty Dumpty Alderman can do it?
Why can’t I?
I embrace the differences. I Love the nuances of difference.
50 shades of crazy.
Get ready America.
Men and Women. Women and Men.
It’s coming to a shopping emporium near you.
Life’s Crazy™