You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.
The end of Fantasy Football.
It’s sad, like breaking up a relationship that had so much promise.
When fantasy football ends, watching games loses some of their intensity.
A garbage TD with no time on the clock doesn’t mean as much when you don’t have some skin in the game.
A rose by any other name is still gambling.
It’s still fantasy.
And that’s what makes it so sweet.
There’s money on the line.
There’s something to gain by every hand off, every throw, every missed field goal.
Fantasy Football stirs the competitive juices.
It’s a game within a game.
And now for millions of us, it’s over.
For all intents and purposes, unless you are one of the four finalists in your league, this is probably your last fantasy hurrah for 8 months.
Most of us our losers, done, kaput.
It’s kind of sad. Fantasy gives the NFL purpose.
Sure you can root for your favorite team.
But it’s more fun to root for lots of guys doing lots of scoring against other guys who you want to beat.
Each week is a chance to gloat at work, to woof some trash thru email.
And sadly, this is it.
Week 14 is the end of the fantasy regular season.
I’m a loser. I’m done like toast left in the oven on high.
Dear Fantasy loser…
It’s like a dear john letter telling you it’s over.
Instead of reading about your break up in a fox hole, you go on line and see the standings.
LOSER!
If only Mason Crosby didn’t connect on 5 field goals for no damned reason on a MNF, I’d still have some pride.
Instead, A kicker ruined my season.
A kicker kicked meaningless kicks and now I owe the league a beer. I owe my league lots of beers.
What a stupid rule.
A loser is forced to pay for the beers of those who won more games.
It feels like communist Russia.
Just throw me in a gulag why don’t you?
I’m in two leagues. I suck in one. I suck so bad in the other, I’m playing tonight, not to win, but simply not to lose.
If I lose I buy the other guys beer.
And guess what?
I lose. On a 53 yard field goal that means nothing.
Loser.
And that sucks.
I paid 65 dollars to get into the league. I paid 4 dollars per move. I made like ten moves. Peyton Manning scored negative one point this week. Big headed bobble headed bastard throws Zero touch down passes.
Yikes.
And now I’m down to MNF watching a kicker for Green Bay ruin my fantasy life.
And then it was over.
Fantasy is a multi billion dollar industry.
Fans engage Players and ask if they are going to play on Twitter.
Hey How’s that groin?
Sounds like something you’d read about in Penthouse Forum.
Nope, It’s fantasy football Twitter insiders trying to get an edge.
You gotta think the Mafia is involved somehow, right?
Even players play fantasy. You think they go up to a guy at pregames and say “Hey how’s your groin?”
Anyway, I’m done.
The regular season is over for me and for millions of other losers like me.
I guess I’m just gonna have to watch my Cowboys now and root the conventional way.
Not even sure I remember how to do that.
I guess I’ll have to buy myself a beer.
I am the loser, you know.
Life’s Crazy™