You know what’s Crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy!
Fight Club, for real!
Tyler Durden: It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.
In the film; Tyler Durden is a psychotic messiah-like figure immune to pain, leading an army of sycophants in search of revolution.
As many of you remember: The first rule of Fight Club; you don’t talk about Fight Club. The 2nd rule of Fight Club; you don’t talk about Fight Club.
Apparently some morons at University of Manitoba forgot rules one and two. That’s what happens when you live close to the Arctic Circle where you eat Moose jerky and develop freeze dried brain cells.
According to published reports; several students and a recreation facility employee have been disciplined after a Fight Club-style scrap was staged in a squash court at the Frank Kennedy Center.
It may not have been the blood spitting, rib cracking, puffy faced insanity portrayed in the film, but by Manitoba standards, any blood or puffy lipped battle is worth noting.
Authorities learned of the clandestine Fighting Ring after men with bloody faces were seen exiting the Squash courts. The idiots could have played that off as a squash accident.
I don’t know what Squash is, but if it’s anything like the vegetable, I’m sure getting hit in the face with one is going to leave a mark.
And what really violated Fight club rules 1 & 2 was the Facebook page with a reported 87 members discussing fights at the facility.
Whoops! See rules 1 & 2 fight club participants.
Tyler Durden: Third rule of Fight Club: if someone yells “stop!” goes limp, or taps out, the fight is over. Fourth rule: only two guys to a fight. Fifth rule: one fight at a time, fellas. Sixth rule: the fights are bare knuckle. No shirt, no shoes, no weapons. Seventh rule: fights will go on as long as they have to. And the eighth and final rule: if this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight.
“There had been some groups of people congregating in there and grappling with one another,” said Leah Janzen, communications manager with the U of M. “As we understood, there were people fighting in the squash courts.”
Grappling? What kind of Fight Club grapples? Spitting? Sure! Kicking? Right On! Grappling? That sounds more like Manitoba’s version of ball room dancing.
If you are Fight Club, you need to kick the living crap out of your opponent. You punch him in the face till his cheek bones snap. You shower in the bloody snot that pours out of your opponent’s nose as you sing your favorite punk rock song. In the real Fight Club you smash your brothers’ skull into the concrete and try and induce an instant coma.
That’s Fight Club. It’s like jumping off a cliff with a wing suit and a lunch bag sized parachute on your back. It’s like sailing so close to the rock formation at 100mph you can touch it, even see bats making love in the shadows.
What a rush!
Fight Club! If you survive, if you can pull your battered carcass off the concrete, if you get up from this kind of death-cheating ass whoopin, then you know what fight Club is about. It’s a 400 horse power, double barreled carburator blast of blood and sweat and adrenaline rushing through places in your body that normally remain dormant.
Fight Club is the anecdote for white noise blather that is every day life. When you pull yourself off the floor and you realize you are not dead, that is when you realize that you are really alive. You have traveled as close to the edge as you can get without free falling into the interminable abyss. Your chute opens just as you hit the tree line. You will live, but it’s going to be painful.
Tyler Durden: Listen up, maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You’re the same decaying organic matter as everything else.
So what happened to these snow-bound Brad Pitt wanna-be’s?
The report indicates: After further investigation, four students and one staff member were suspended from the facility for a month. The other 82 members of the Facebook group were not deemed to be participants. The Facebook page has since been removed.
Suspended? For Fight Club! They should have been awarded medals made of raw steak and hung around the necks so that neighborhood dogs could salivate and wish they too could fight.
Suspended? Bad Move Manitoba U. If I’m dean of students of this Eskimo bastion of higher education, I’m pumping out video-taped segments of Fight Club and distributing it to the internet. I seel tickets to the event to help off set the spiraling cost of education. Why not go balls to the wall and offer a Tyler Durden Scholarship. Rule 1 of Manitoba U scholarship application process: Don’t tell anyone what it’s for. Let them guess why all the Durden recipients have knots on their skull. Manitoba U. should have incorporated Fight Club into its curriculum.
Janzen said the incident was disturbing.
Disturbing?
I think Tyler Durden may have seen it differently:
Tyler Durden: The things you own end up owning you.
Here’s to feeling the rush of adrenaline that comes with living a Fight Club kind of life.
And that is crazy!