You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy!
Sex so loud it has the police knocking on your door, dogs shrieking at the pound and milk curdling in the jug.
Look at this couple. This is a wanted poster of tainted love of sexual healing gone bad.
This couple is the Anthrax of love making. This British couple is an air raid siren of passion, a sonic boom of whoopee.
They are loud and proud and their neighbors have had it.
According to the BBC, this British woman has tormented her neighbors for years with her excessively loud lovemaking. According to published reports, this siren of sex is now ordered to go before a judge.
The screamer’s name is Caroline Cartwright. She’s 49 and apparently louder than a Yankee Stadium P.A. System.
Not much to look at, the middle aged woman apparently enjoys to have very loud and very long sex with her equally ugly husband, Steve.
Local law enforcement know her well. Her late night romps have been known to cause windows to crack, cats to spray urine and neighbors to call 911.
She is so enthusiastic during sex, police arrested her and charged her with England’s version of disorderly conduct, a charge typically issued to vandals or teenage delinquents.
Way to go Lassie!
The judge sentenced her to a 12 week suspension.
How do you enforce that? Are you going to post a cop outside her front door with a V.U. meter?
“Yes your honor, we registered Mrs. Cartwright at 122 db’s on July 9th at 11:22 am. Yes sir that is the equivalent of a WHO concert.”
How can you lock up a woman for being vociferous in the sack?
You think a woman screaming in ecstasy in Brazil is going to bring the cops? A camera crew of porn producers, maybe? Vendors are going to set up and sell hot dogs outside the room.
But Law enforcement? Doubtful.
According to the BBC: Cartwright’s screams were so loud that she was overheard by a mail man and a woman taking her child to school.
Well la dee dah!
So what? Through rain and sleet and screams of delight; the mail must go through. Locals had complained of an “unnatural” sound that drowned out their televisions and gave the impression of two people in “considerable pain.”
It’s not like she’s a vampire eating neighborhood cats. She’s a woman with an active libido and a healthy set of lungs.
Cartwright received a suspended prison sentence in January for breaching the order, which banned her from making excessive noise, knocking, shouting or screaming loudly enough for her neighbors to hear.
“I have tried to minimize the situation by having sex in the morning, not at night,” the woman told the court. “That way I won’t wake anybody,” she added.
Life’s Crazy™