You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™
Hugh F-in Hefner.
Are you kidding me?
This old wrinkled microwaved potato human is 86 years old. He is a captain hat wearing playboy icon. He is a corpse without a coffin.
He has slept with women that other men can only look at in girly magazines.
And now he marries again.
Say it ain’t so Hugh.
It’s a double whammy. He’s older than rock salt and she is young and vivacious.
Hef marries a voluptuous 26 year old sexual dynamo. When you’re 86 a wet napkin can be a sexual dynamo.
Is there enough viagra in the whole playboy mansion?
How bright can she be? Perhaps she’s smarter than anyone can imagine.
So what the hell is wrong with this picture?
EVERYTHING!
As my kids would say: IT’S CREEPY.
for starters, there’s a 60 year age difference.
He was 60 when she was born. He’s old enough to be her great grandfather. He was around when Ben Franklin was flying kites in electrical storms.
He is a bag of saggy flesh.
Does his scrotum even work?
When she lays next to him in bed with the lights off, does she reach over and feel a gelatin goo of warm flesh. Is she afraid the reaper of death will enter and take her by mistake?
You know it’s a rough wedding night when your husband’s oxygen tank keeps banging the head board.
If you didn’t know the background of this picture you’d think it was a beauty queen visiting a senior center.
“Oh, look at the cute little old man with the captain’s hat. Isn’t he precious”
In his day, Hef might have been the preeminent playboy on the planet. Wilt Chamberlain might argue that one.
And what about you blondie? Are you really turned on by this breathing scab?
If you tell me this ain’t about money then i’ll tell you YOU ARE A LIAR to your face.
They say age doesn’t matter, unless you need a calculator to compute it.
It just ain’t right.
Do you help him wipe himself on the commode? Did you feed him pablum on your wedding night.
What’s it like to get mounted by a man who has to pull off an adult diaper?
If it’s terrible to write these words. It must be terrible for you to be living the life of Mrs Hugh Hefner. Until you go to the bank.
Wonder if there is a pre-nup?
And that is crazy.™