you know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™
The Justin Bieber Egg toss.
The kid is in the news now for all the wrong reasons.
He lost a monkey in Germany. Jimmy Kimmel ate his lunch.
He wears big baggy clown pants.
Late night comedians call him a mope.
He spits off balconies and the paparazzi captures every gooey drop.
Now he is under investigation for felony vandalism.
That’s no Yoke people.
Someone through a bunch of eggs at a mansion and now someone’s gonna have to clean up.
The fact that Justin Egger probably did it is almost as stupid as the way the media is covering the cops who are investigating it.
The whole thing is an egg-zagerated joke.
Oooh Baby Baby.
Justin Egger is a punk. And he may have got caught with egg on his stupid face this time.
TMZ, the bible on celebrity everything claims to have grainy video of some guy yelling at people who just nailed his house with eggs.
“I see you. I see you,” An angry cell phone wielding man shouts at the darkness beyond.
Is it Justin Bieber?
Is it Big Foot?
The footage is a black whole of visual communications.
I’ve seen better composites in a psychiatrists ink blot book.
It looks like a dark streak of bad video flushed through an electromagnetic field inside a velvet coated blender.
Good luck making that stick.
The cell phone is reportedly shot from inside a mansion in the hills over looking L.A.
The damage is said to be 20 thousand dollars.
Really? 20,000 dollars in egg damage.
That seems Egg-cessive don’t you think?
So GMA reports on this breaking news this morning.
It’s number 2 in the rundown, between Obama-care and a movie theater shooting.
It’s a Bieber sandwich. Like it’s national news of importance.
Health care for all? People killed? An egging?
Hmmmmm?
I don’t know what’s stupider. Bieber or the media covering Bieber.
It must be the media, because every news chopper in L.A. is flying over the Bieber mansion.
You’d think it was O.J., a Bronco, and a glove that doesn’t fit.
Nope. Just a Canadian singer who probably gets stage fright when he takes off those ridiculous baggy pants.
she aerials visuals below show a phalanx of police officers swarming like badge wearing ants.
What starts as an egg-citing day for vandalism, suddenly becomes a felony drug arrest.
GMA shows a young man coming out of the house in police custody.
He is a Bieber entourage member and he is charged with drug possession.
“I believe it is Zanex and Ecstasy, the police spokesman says.
“Bieber cooperated,” the reporter says.
“He has answered no questions. He is not exonerated,” a police officer adds.
A so called Hllywood experts says: “Justin needs to see there are consequences for his actions.”
Ooooh baby baby baby.
The package ends and the anchor then has an on set debrief with Legal analyst Dan Abrams who acts like Perry Mason with jock itch.
“last year he had an altercation with same neighbor. The neighbor claims he spit in his face. Bieber denies it.”
“It’s egging,” Abrams says. “Let’s be honest, if it wasn’t Justin Bieber, you wouldn’t have a dozen investigators looking into this. I mean, what will they find? 12 brown eggs? I mean it matters, but criminal? It’s not the best use of the police force. For an egging? usually one cop shows up, files a report. A civil lawsuit is filed. But a felony over eggs? A dozen investigators and choppers and surveillance tape and ?”
The legal analyst seems worn out.
Well OK, then George Stephanopolous laughs.
And it is laughable.
Did Bieber do it?
Probably.
Is he an Egg citable punk?
You betcha.
but aren’t there are other crimes in L.A. that could use a dozen police officers?
Hopefully Bieber will lose everything like MC Hammer.
Until then, let’s just Egg Spect more stupidity from the Canadian Crooner.
Life’s Crazy™