You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™
Local television commercials.
Compared to National ads, local spots are visual car wrecks.
Where they could be witty they are loud.
Where they could be memorable, they are stupid.
Why do they look so dull?
Are they shot with petroleum jelly smeared across the lens.
Sometimes the actors are professionals. Many times they own the company. Sometimes they put their kids or their pets on camera.
It’s creative as white stationary. It’s compelling as soap scum.
Do these spots work? They must right? Otherwise why would they keep shooting them?
I know this. These spots are definitely local.
I just watched a car salesman scream at the camera.
“We’ll trade for anything that don’t eat.”
The car salesman is wearing a big thermal shirt over his coveralls.
He looks like a Hayseed had a child with an ox.
His hair is crazy and his teeth more buck toothed than a Kamikaze Pilot.
He is one part farmer, one part Rain Man, and proof that cousins shouldn’t kiss.
We’ll trade for anything that don’t eat.
What does that mean?
I can trade a bottle cap for a car, but not a skunk?
I can buy a 5th wheel trailer with a used Kleenex but a cage of gerbils is out of the question?
I just watched a financial commercial where kids dressed in suits and ties tell me to get a home loan.
These 5th graders are talking about APR and interest rates.
Like I trust the 4th grade educational acumen of Tennessee students?
I wonder how many takes did this take?
Why do I want my future foreclosure sold to me by pediatric pukes?
Are there no child labor laws at work here?
Note to guys who own their own companies: Leave your kids at home. Don’t they have homework to do?
Commercials fight for your attention.
With the influx of DVR fast forwarding and internet thumb drive devices, it’s a wonder anyone even bothers.
Free TV is a concept that might soon go the way of the DoDo Bird.
OOOOPs.
Hold that thought, here comes another local spot.
It’s a mattress commercial.
And what better way to sell me a mattress sans stains?
Hmmmm…
How about a a man standing on a bed, dressed in a king Henry the 8th costume swinging a sword.
“$199 mattresses. I’m the King!”
Huh?
If you are old enough to remember the moon landing, you know this is how TV started.
The Milton Berle show had live commercials for Texaco in the middle of the broadcast.
And in L.A., you viewers remember the grand daddy of cheesy, yet memorable spots.
Here comes Cal Worthington and his dog spot
Cal was always old. He wore a big Texas hat and rode a steer across a car lot.
If you hail from the other coast, perhaps you remember Crazy Eddie electronics.
Eddie shouted as loud as he could. The graphics made a bat man episode look calm.
I’M CRAZY he would shout.
I don’t think there was any other copy. Crazy Eddie. Crazy this. Crazy That.
Ok that’s a wrap.
I’ve been told that free TV is on its way out.
I’ve been told that the internet is going to kill local News which is funded in large part by local ads.
Maybe.
But local businesses will always be in your home town. Those local businesses will always try and reach customers in their own back yards.
Maybe the internet will cut into that pie.
Something tells me, there will always be a place for a guy in suspenders to scream “I’ll trade for anything that don’t Eat.”
It’s so bumpkin, it’s brilliant.
Local Commercials.
Life’s Crazy™