You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy!™
A taste of warmth after an onslaught of frozen tundra.
After a barrage of blizzards, a tsunami of snow and temperatures that make oil turn to sludge, something amazing happened.
A burning ball of orange rose in the sky and parted the grey haze of depression. It was more welcome than hot fudge on vanilla ice cream. It was more soothing to my soul than a warm towel coming right from the dryer.
It wasn’t quite the feeling the Israelites got when Moses parted the Red Sea, but it was pretty damn close. The golden warmth rained down upon the Earth in radiant waves that made life – once again – seem manageable.
Suddenly birds were chirping and little boys were running around with no shirts on. I saw skateboards and bicycles and footballs being tossed.
The mercury climbed to a balmy 59 degrees. To someone from Honolulu, this is a frost-warning, it’s a Farmville Emergency urging citizens to put the pineapples by the space heater. But here in Middle Tennessee, 60-degrees? Well it felt like a warm day in South Beach.
It was reason to rejoice, to renew, to revel.
It was a Charlie Sheen E-ticket – a roller coaster made of cocaine flying down a track of hookers.
As the sun smiled in the interminable blue sky, people turned off their televisions and walked into the blazing day light. Citizens who were eating out of boredom closed the refrigerator door and went for a walk. Humans feeling like Dracula’s pale faced cousin left their 3 bedroom coffins and headed to the courts.
Joggers jogged. Strollers strolled. Walkers walked. Basketballs could be heard clanking off rims all over the mid state.
It’s amazing how the warmth of the sun can change the emotional dynamic of a human.
When it’s cold and gray, people tend to mope like Rosie O’Donnel at a Donald Trump rally. Winter turns people into lethargic denizens of darkness who become couch potato-esque.
Suddenly old episodes of the Golden Girls look appetizing. The Appropinquity of the refrigerator inevitably makes caloric intake a foregone conclusion.
Scientists and psychologists have long studied the affects of sunlight on humans. Their conclusions, though cerebral and chock full of scientific banter, is what you and I all ready know.
The sun makes everything better.
According to people with PHD’s after their names:
sunlight triggers our circadian rhythms, our sleep-wake cycles. When sunlight hits the optic nerve, the brain cuts down on the release of melatonin, a hormone that controls sleep, and increases production of serotonin, a neurotransmitter tied to wakefulness and feeling happy. When the sun sets, this cycle is reversed, with more melatonin produced and less serotonin. The more sunlight the body receives, the more serotonin the brain produces.
Man that’s a mouthful isn’t it.
I’m no scientist, but here’s my hypothesis on warmth and continuing sunshine.
Get out and get out now!
February is coming and Punxitawny Phil is a rodent bastard. He’s gonna come out and see his shadow and get scared like he always does and we are going to get stuck with more depressing darkness and cold.
So if the sun is out today, then get your buns outside and smile at the sky. Breathe it in. Let the warmth flow over you like a relaxing shower.
Because I guarantee you, February is a prickly, unpredictable bitch of a month that has no love for you or it’s position in the calendar.
Don’t put those turtlenecks away just yet folks, old man winter’s still raging. He was just taking a breather.
And don’t forget to flip Punxitawney the bird.
I really do hate that S.O.B.
And that is crazy.