You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy!
Our fascination with boobs and low cut dresses. Boobs sell Vodka and boobs sell car insurance. Boobs are the universal elixir for life. They don’t need translation, they don’t need an introduction. Beautiful boobs are just exquisite.
Some would argue bigger is better. Some say perky and firm. For others; no more than a mouthful…
But what if these big beautiful, Guinness Book of World Record Boobs are actually killing you? What if they are so big, so cosmetically enhanced, your body is rejecting them, by absorbing them into your blood stream.
DATELINE: Houston, Tx
This story is so absurd I don’t know whether to laugh or be sad. I don’t know whether to be appalled or to stop and stare. Should I pretend I don’t see breasts bigger than a Volvo coming out of that woman’s chest?
Here’s the theme: A model with the world’s largest breasts is fighting for her life after suffering complications following her latest cosmetic surgery.
According to Fox TV in Houston, Sheyla Hershey contracted a severe staph infection following breast augmentation.
The infection reached both of Ms Hershey’s breasts, which are listed as considerable. What’s considerable?
38 KKK.
I don’t even know what a 38-triple-K is? It sounds like a play Pete Carroll would have called for Reggie Bush. It sounds like the rural postal route for a KKK meeting. Maybe it’s a Southern Rock Band.
Holy Crap! How would you get through life with boobs so big they cause their own gravitational pull. And because there are two gigantic boobs, they gravitationally affect each other. Like the Earth pulling on the moon and the moon pulling back on the Earth, the gravitational force of these breasts is a force of nature. They have a tidal attraction that makes wolves climb to the highest peak and howl like college girls at naked
8 x 10 glossies of Brad Pitt.
Two gigantic moon boobs can be a problem when you are trying to ride a down escalator in a crowded mall on Black Friday. I’ve seen it. I know.
So what happened? Well doctors took the 30-year-old into surgery to remove the implants, and possibly her own breasts.
Fox reports the model has had more than 30 surgeries to date.
Ms Hershey said her surgeon is concerned that the infection could leak into her bloodstream, which could threaten her life.
Live by the boob. Die by the boob, I always say.
“I had fever and a lot of pain. I just couldn’t breathe properly; it was terrible! I was in bed all day, couldn’t get up,” she said.
She couldn’t get up? insert your own joke here.
Can a bean bag chair get up? Can Jabba the Hut get up by himself?
Her website notes that she is fluent in Portuguese, Spanish, Italian, Chinese and English. Like that is going make her more employable.
Can’t you see the boss yelling at his secretary, “Gertrude. Get me the number for that blond woman who is multi lingual. I think our company could use a talented young woman like that. Oh and tell her to wear that black dress with the plunging neck line.”
Ms Hershey is in the news for one reason and one reason only; her gigantic, beach ball sized breasts.
They are so absurdly fake and abnormally bizarre, even choir boys can’t help but get excited and say a hail Mary full of grace.
And that is crazy!