You know what’s Crazy? I’ll tell you what’s Crazy!
Lindsay Freakin Lohan is Crazy.
She is suing E-Trade for 100 million dollars.
Lindsay Lohan is a barf bag who use to look good in a bikini. She use to look good on the silver screen. Then she started drinking and inhaling blow up her nasty little nose. Soon she was one of those “hard to work with actresses” who ended up being chased by the papparazzi as some 23 year old washed up, never was.
“Get the face! Get the face!” the photogs would scream trying to zoom into Lohan unconscious on the sidewalk sleeping in a puddle of her own vomit.
At the rate she’s going, Lindsay Lohan will be a jeopardy question:
“I’ll take skank whores for $500 alex”
“She was found buns up and dealing in a Venice Beach alley?”
“Who was Lindsay Lohan, Alex”
“That’s right, for 500-dollars.”
I guess the skank whore is now looking to cash in on pipe dreams and ring a round the rosy nonsense.
Stop me if you have heard this one. The washed up wench is suing E-Trade for $100 million dollars because of a superbowl commerical it aired.
The ad featured a baby who just happens to be named Lindsay.
This law suit should float through the legal system as easily as a ship made of spaghetti navigates a Nor’Easter. Sure hope E-trade made some money, because obviously the skank-a-holic is going to win, right?
Here is the gyst of the lawsuit: see if you can wrap your legs around this one.
Lindsay Lohan alleges that a baby who is refered to as a “milkaholic” who happens to be named Lindsay — was modeled after her.
Pain and suffering she says.
As the defense attorney, here’s the way I open my defense: “Lindsay Lohan is an alcoholic coke whore who is so high, she thinks the world revolves around her. She thinks that a short skirt and no underpants equate to cinematic talent. Lindsay Lohan stinks like the hold of a Japanese fishing vessel, and she has the acting chops of David Caruso on CSI Miami.”
It is the premise of the Lohan legal team that this lawsuit somehow has merit. I would argue that this is as farcical as their client selling bibles to a parochial school.
I mean if you are going to sue animated commercial babies because one is named Lindsay who may or not be a “milkaholic” then I say it’s open season to sue for anything.
Let’s sue Lindsay Wagner because she was the bionic woman and she dated the six million dollar man so that has to be worth something right?
Let’s sue Lindsey Buckingham of fleetwood Mac. He dated Stevie Nicks and she had big hair and that has to be worth something right?
According to published reports: Lohan’s lawyer, Stephanie Ovadia, said the actress has the same single-name recognition as Oprah or Madonna.
Lindsay = Oprah. I don’t think so.
Lindsay = crack whore.
Lindsay = slut bag.
Lindsay = washed up actress of little worth.
If that is what the lawyer is refering to, then maybe she’s right.
I think crack whores should sue Lindsay Lohan for giving the crack industry a bad name.
Hey Lindsay Lohan law team, listen to this: Chris Brown, a spokesman for Grey Group, which produced the spot, is throwing cold milk on the controversy, saying it “just used a popular baby name that happened to be the name of someone on the account team.”
Stick that milk where the son don’t shine Lohan, because you stink like festering, curdling cheese, you bag of contaminated flesh.
And that is crazy!