You Know What’s Crazy? I’ll Tell You What’s Crazy!
cleansing your face with bird poop.
This story is straight from theater of the absurd.
Apparently a New Mexico spa is touting it’s bird poop facial. For just a small fee, you too can relax like a Japanese Samurai. Simply grab a glob of hot steamy Nightingale poop and lather it on.
The spa is called Ten Thousand Waves. The treatment is a toxic superfund site for your face.
An official at the spa says: This is our signature facial. We are the exclusive importers of processed nightingale droppings, which have been used for centuries by geisha in Japan to brighten and smooth their skin. The droppings are dried, pulverized, and sanitized with ultraviolet light at the nightingale farm. We add essential oils to the powder to use as a cleanser and/or mask, formulated for your skin type.”
Oh then by all means, Slather it! Lather it! Smear it on your face and feel Zestfully clean. And if it’s so “ultraviolet” cleansed, why not floss with Nightingale excrement? Why not eat Nightingale poop breath mints. Why not snort powdered excrement to reduce headaches.
The best part, the spa only charges you $115. I don’t know about you, but I think you could save some money squeezing pigeon poop into your hand so you could apply it to your skin.
The spa likes to say; “it’s good enough for Victoria Beckham, it’s good enough for you, isn’t it?”
Posh Spice isn’t exactly a Rhodes Scholar. How hard do you think it is to convince Posh to do anything? Hey Posh, want gargle with racoon urine? It’s guaranteed to whiten your teeth.”
“Sure thing love.”
And of course who knows more about skin care than the Japanese? I mean when you think Japan, what’s the first thing that comes to mind; besides kinky sex and crazy game shows involving live eels? Great skin care, of course!
“You wash face with bird crap,” Ninja Warrior say. “You see. Face shine like moon light in tranquil lake.”
OK Samurai-Bob, thanks for the vote of confidence.
So the next time you have a blemish or you just want that baby soft skin that screams look at me; “I’m bird poop fresh”, then forget about the Dove and go for the Nightingale.
That my friends is CRAZY!