You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy!
FACEBOOK is crazy!
DATELINE: TAMPA, Florida
FACEBOOK is arguably the most popular social networking site on the planet. People post pictures and videos and catch up on old friendships.
The technology to communicate and stay connected is unbelievable. But according to a growing number of people, FACEBOOK is also the devil.
Why the devil?
For every FACEBOOK-ying there is a more nefarious FACEBOOK-yang.
How many times a day does your co-worker go on FACEBOOK? Are they simply updating their status, or is a work-mate succumbing to a burning urge to post nauseatingly inane banter. Are your friends just insatiably curious or are they actually FACEBOOK-addicted?
Back in the day, if you goofed off this much at work, doing something addictive like let’s say, Cocaine, your boss would tell you have a problem and fire you. But now-a-days, because you are on-line, and FACEBOOKING doesn’t leave a cocaine residue on your nostrils, everyone just laughs it off.
Laughs it off? REALLY?
FACEBOOK is the equivalent of an electronic “peeping-tom”. Instead of sneaking up to a person’s window in the new millenium, now you can search an individual’s bio and stick your nose into their life without them even knowing. You can’t watch people getting undressed, unless they want you to. But you can see almost everything else through the magic FACEBOOK window. Your co-worker drunk hanging on someone they just met in a bar. Your friend toppless with piercings and tatoos you didn’t know they had under their work attire. FACEBOOK allows you to see drunken, exhibitionist, boring tiny underpant wearing FACEBOOKING mongrels who are so caught up in FACEBOOKING that everything else is white noise.
I have friends who are addicted to FACEBOOK. Some spend all day farming in virtual fields and putting mafia hits on virtual gangsters. I have friends who spend hours voting what type of vegetable they would be and joining the “Betty White on SNL” movement of the day.
Why is FACEBOOK the devil? Because it has just as much power to break people up as it does to pull them together. The same ability to reconnect with a long lost friend can also reconnect you with a long lost love.
I have friends who secretly go on FACEBOOK under secret accounts just to undermine the profiles of others. They snoop and spy and it kind of makes me feel like showering.
You know who doesn’t think FACEBOOK is the devil? Divorce Lawyers, who some would argue are Satan’s apprentice here on Earth.
According to published reports: The world’s most popular social media site is revolutionizing the divorce experience, pouring toxin into virtually every stage of a collapsing marriage.
For the family feud; FACEBOOK is the new ammunition. It is the gas and the lighter. FACEBOOK is the modern day private investigator digging up so much dirt that attorney’s often tell their clients to go FACEBOOK cold turkey.
ACCORDING TO A TAMPA PUBLICATION: Take, for instance, the Tampa wife who videotaped fights with her husband (camera in one hand, accusing finger in the other), to post on Facebook later. A child psychologist called it “like a reality TV show.” Or the Tampa husband with a Facebook fixation, who posted minute-by-minute updates about his frustrations with parenting. Lawyers for his wife gleefully turned the online confessions against him in court.
Facebook is “like gasoline on the fire,” said Chris Ragano, a Tampa attorney who says Facebook turns up in more than half of new cases each month. Now, he orders every new client to cancel their Facebook account on Day 1 of his retainer – but not before using the account to collect evidence against the other side.
“One side posts something nasty, and the other can’t help but retaliate, and we’re off to the races,” Ragano said. “It’s World War III.”
So in case you forgot to remember, remember this: FACEBOOK is the devil:
The next time some one wants to friend you, just remember, you are potentially friending every single person they have friended. It’s like cyber herpes without the condom.
Say it with me: FACEBOOK is the Devil.
Every time you share a comment, be careful some mustard swilling, wife beater t-shirt wearing scuzz bucket will be reading it. Every time you post a picture, be advised, everyone and their brother and mother and sister and lawyer and newspaper delivery boy is oogling it. Every time you post a video, rest assured that some guy with his pants around his ankles will be thinking impure thoughts while watching it.
Are you grossed out yet?
Good. Just remember, every time you ask someone to join your cause or poke you, or vote on what colored fart-monkey your are, just remember, someone in some other corner of the globe will be hating you, longing for you, envying you, wishing they were you, or more than likely glad they aren’t you.
Divorce attorney Caballero says that for couples on the verge of divorce, FACEBOOK is often the push off the matrimonial cliff they need.
Sounds like the devil huh?
And that is crazy!