You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™
3 wheeled motorcycles.
Please….
If you need a third wheel then you don’t need to be riding on the open road.
If you are incapable of stradling a purring motor with your man parts holding two wheels on the pavement, then you need to check into a senior center and slurp your lunch through a straw.
ABC news just did a story on the revolution of Baby Boomers buying not bikes, but trikes.
These things are hideous looking. They repulse me like Nancy Pelosi in a thong.
These three wheeled abortions are about as far removed from a Kawasaki crotch rocket as you can get.
Trikes? It kind of makes me laugh.
The reporter, Nick Watt, used all the cliche’s like born to ride and easy riders, but what I saw was a bunch of hobbled, Geritol guzzling wannabe’s clogging up perfectly good asphalt with their motorized wheel chairs.
Get the hell off my road old man.
Sure the trike industry is up 45%. So what? Yes even Harley has created a 3 wheeled motorcycle, but that doesn’t mean I have to think it’s safe or cool. Because I don’t.
ABC interviewed these baby boomers, some of whom were on crutches, others wheezed as they stridently inhaled perfectly good air into their petrified lungs.
One old fart says; “I hurt my knee. I wanted a Harley…”
His words trail off because he either ran out of breath or simply forgot what he was trying to say.
What he forgot to say is I’m old and I’m trying to relive my youth by riding a Trike. A trike?
FAIL.
If you can’t hold up a Harley or an Indian or a Honda crotch rocket old man, then take your shriveled balls and go inside and play Canasta with your cat.
Another old timer reliving the memories of his mind says, “I had a hip replacement so…”
So what?
The Brothers of the third wheel reportedly have 7,000 members. I hope none of them is riding around me. I wouldn’t want to watch them have a coronary and drive off a cliff or into an SUV of school kids.
“Guys are riding into their 90’s,” Watt Says as he rides on the back of one of these three wheeled old person transit devices.
“It’s so laid back,” He says, “I could have fallen asleep.”
Exactly. He could fall asleep.
Born to be boring.
“If you don’t know the feeling it’s hard to explain,” another geriatric dude pants.
You wanna feel the wind in your long ass eye brow hair and pull bugs from your false teeth, then get a convertible reptile. Surround yourself with 4 wheels and four sides to protect your brittle old ass.
“Will you ride to you die?” Watt asks.
“Ill ride till i get killed or die,” the heart attack in a flesh suit responds.
Shut the F up dumb ass.
You now sound stupider than you look on a trike.
Just want I want, a three wheeled coronary rumbling down the pavement.
I’m going to stop now and vomit.
Jeez.
And that is crazy.™