You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™
Assigning sexual characteristics to puppets.
Are the Teletubby’s gay?
Is Barney the dinosaur a homo?
Is Peppermint Patty ready to come out of the closet?
Is the Cartoon Network going to break into programming to alert us?
When does it end? Who cares?
Apparently many people do, spending a lot of unnecessary time on issues like this.
Internet enthusiasts with too much time on their hands are now burning up cyber space wondering if Sesame Street characters Bert and Ernie are getting married.
Thousands of people took the poll and voted on whether they thought the recalcitrant curmudgeon Bert and the sing song friendly Ernie were going to tie the knot in a same sex marriage.
The answer is NO.
But they sleep in the same rooms and they’re best friends, the enthusiasts argue?
Well so were Fred and Ethel and they never had sex. Was Ethel Fred’s beard?
The online insanity forced Sesame Street creators to comment on the relationship; saying they were just “best friends” who “do not have a sexual orientation.”
Imagine that. A puppet with no sexual orientation. Like pulling down the pants of a Ken doll only to find a smooth rubber nub.
According to published reports; More than 5,700 people have signed an online petition at Change.org urging the puppets to wed.
Get a life people. Spend your idle time spooning soup at the Homeless Shelter or banging nails with Habitat for Humanity. Please get off the Ernie/Bert is gay hot line.
“We are not asking that ‘Sesame Street’ do anything crude or disrespectful,” the petition reads. “It can be done in a tasteful way. Let us teach tolerance of those that are different.”
But the non-profit Sesame Workshop said on its Facebook page Thursday there’s no wedding cake in the offing.
“Bert and Ernie are best friends,” the Workshop statement said.
“They were created to teach preschoolers that people can be good friends with those who are very different from themselves.
And there you have it. They are the Felix Unger and Oscar Madison of puppets. They are different because they teach people to get along.
And that is crazy.™