The man, the plan and the way he allegedly went about it. It’s all crazy.
By now you have undoubtedly heard that someone posted naked video of ESPN reporter, Erin Andrews on line. The black and white footage was shot while she was at a Nashville Hotel covering a Vanderbilt football game. She was in her hotel room, naked, doing whatever people do in the privacy of their hotel rooms.
What she didn’t realize was that there was a perp lurking in the hallway, furtively documenting her every innocent move.
The way this nefarious scheme unfolded reminds me of an Abbott and Costello routine. Who’se on first? Christ I don’t know, I’m too busy hacksawing my way into Erin Andrews room. Now shut up and pass me the fake peep hole.
Scooby Doo would have a more well thought out plan just to get a scooby snack.
First the facts from the FBI:
- ESPN reporter Erin Andrews claims someone videotaped her nude then posted that video on line without her knowledge or consent.
- Authorities arrested 48-year-old Michael David Barrett at Chicago O’Hare International Airport on Friday October 2nd.
- Barrett faces a charge of interstate stalking.
- Barrett released eight videos taped in two hotel rooms.
That’s the FBI’s version of events. Here are mine.
Someone needs a serious ass whoopin!
First the hotel. The FBI indicate a majority of the videos were shot while Andrews was at the Marriott Hotel in Nashville. My question is; what the hell kind of guest privacy policy are you offering to your guests over there Marriott? Corporate suits are now saying all the right things with all the conventional p.r. wisdom that a cavalcade of bad publicity can muster. But I don’t want to hear it.
I can only imagine the phone call from the alleged perp to the hotel that started this bad dream.
HOTEL: “Hello front desk.
ALLEGED PERP: Yes this is Michael David Barrett. I want to visually violate one of your female guests. Can you tell me what room she will be staying in?
HOTEL: That won’t be a problem sir.
ALLEGED PERP: Super convenient. Can you book me a room right next to her?
HOTEL: We’d be pleased as punch to book that room for you Mr. Barrett.
ALLEGED PERP: Lovely. A few more things. Ah, do you have a hacksaw?
HOTEL: We can check with maintenance.
ALLEGED PERP: While you are at it, Can you ask all other guests and maids and room service personnel to stay out of the hallway for about 25 minutes while I video tape her through the new peep hole I plan to install?
HOTEL: We’ll make a note of it sir. Will that be all?
ALLEGED PERP: That’s a good start. Thanks for your help.
Of course this discussion didn’t happen, but this story is so stupid It’s a scene out a Jack Ass episode. This video-caper is a giant ass shopping cart rolling full tilt down hill loaded with humans who were not born with fear or brains.
The hotel is so lame, According to the FBI report, when investigators returned to the hotel, months later, the damn peep hole was still in its altered condition. Are you kidding me? nobody noticed? Not even the maids who clean that room every freaking day?
The maximum penalty for the charge of interstate stalking is five years in federal prison. I hope that Mr.Barrett does every day of it, if he is guilty, as the FBI alleges.
As for Barrett, You sir, are how do they say? a douche bag. Or I should say, you are an alleged douche bag. What kind of man video tapes a woman through a peep hole. A man with no values, no self esteem, no morals. I’m guessing you are guy with no balls and no understanding of how to use them. I see you as a man who lived his high school life banging on the inside of his book locker praying someone would let him out.
While I’m kicking you in the scrotum, may I ask you a simple question? Who the hell dreamed up the peep hole video tape plan?
Was it a bunch of 7th grade boys in study hall. Instead of flying paper airplane and making fart noises with their hands, they conjured up this plan and you signed off on it?
Only a bunch of farting, pimple faced adolescents would come up with a hair brained, Scooby Needs a Scooby Snack plan like this.
The prime ingredients for this add water and stir violation include:
1) hack saw a hotel door. 2) Install a special peep hole glass in the door. 3) Do all of this in a public hallway where you could be seen by anyone. 4) Capture a naked unsuspecting victim who might also pull the door open and catch you at any moment.
I’ll be damned if this plan didn’t almost work. I heard a report that tens of millions of people have seen some version of this video on line. That is disturbing isn’t it?
It’s lurid and creepy and abnormal, just like you, if what the FBI alleges is true.
I saw a news report where your attorney said that this is not the Michael David Barrett that everyone knows. Actually I think it is the real Michael David Barrett that we are all going to learn more about whether we want to or not.
To Erin Andrews. Be strong and hang in there. You work in a male dominated profession where athletes often think with their jocks. You are a hot blond and your work place is a packed stadium of drunk fans, any of whom is likely to say something off color about the video they probably viewed. I say, hang in there and be tough. Prosecute this loser and send a message for all women that what he did is wrong.
And to you Mr. Barrett, if you are guilty, I hope that you serve the maximum amount of years in a federal penitentiary. I hope that the rats in your cell are all armed with cell phone cameras which they use liberally while they bite your scrotum with their little rat teeth. I hope that they sell shower video of you on line and then follow up those tapes with a Sing Sing version of girls gone wild where you are the girl and all the other inmates named bubba get to go wild.
Life is about karma and yours is about as weak as the hotel security that allows perps to cut peep holes in doors with hacksaws.
and That is just crazy.