You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™
Texting and driving.
It’s the new drunk driving. It’s dumber than flossing with a band saw.
It makes as much sense as using a crack whore to do your tax return.
Texting and Driving? It’s the new diamond lane of death.
T & D? It makes drunk driving look almost sober.
Texting while driving is going to keep the undertaker busy.
It’s distracted driving on steroids.
I saw a stat recently: 34% of teens who drive distracted say they are adept at multi tasking.
My thoughts on that? Those same 34% of teens are 100% stupid.
32% of teens who text and drive say nothing bad will happen to them.
The other 68% of teens were too busy texting to take the survey.
The little undertaker making coffins in all the Clint Eastwood westerns would love these multi tasking teens. Good for busy he would say rubbing his spiny hands together with a smile filled with no teeth.
Texting and driving is a new millennium problem. When I was a kid, back in the days of cobwebs and sour mash wiskey as tooth numbing medicine, our parents worried about a loud radio and a back seat full of teenage chatter boxes?
That’s warm milk and cookies compared to this new technological plague.
Texting and driving is is a recipe for disaster.
I won’t lie I’ve done it. I’ve texted and driven. And because I have done it, I think I’m qualified to say it is clearly more dangerous than anyone knows.
Texting and driving is complicated. You have a smart phone in one hand and hopefully the steering wheel in the other.
If you tap in some words on your smart phone, you either do it with the hand holding the phone or you have to take your hand off the wheel to do it. If you let go of the wheel, now you are playing with fire.
But the eyes are the killer. To text and drive, the eyes have to leave the road to look at the phone. When the eyes leave the road and look at the phone, you’re driving blind. You might as well be in a subway car in a long dark tunnel with no tracks and a dead man’s switch that is flipped to engage.
You might as well put horse blinders on your face and kiss your ass goodbye.
I’d rather drive with a guy swigging vodka from the bottle than drive with a teenager staring at his smart phone driving 60 mph.
I was on the interstate today, behind a car. It was the middle of the day. The car was weaving across the lane line.
Normally I get away from drunk drivers. They are unpredictable. But this driver was different. I could tell this motorist was not drunk. I’ve seen drunks. This was different. It was as if this car was driving by itself, floating down the highway, slowly merging over the divider, then snapping back into place.
I rolled up next to the driver and saw him texting and driving.
I was pissed. The guy was a ticking texting time bomb. We’re doing 70 miles and hour and his head is down, his eyes are down, his attention is on whatever he’s typing into his iphone, probably something about Justin Timberlake has a nice ass. (I don’t even know what that means.)
I wanted to pit manuever this moron and snap him into the guard rail.
Instead, I raced ahead where his texting shenanigans can only hurt those behind him.
I read somewhere that Five seconds is the average time your eyes are off the road while texting. At 55 mph that is a football field.
A lot can happen in a football field.
You can drive off a cliff or run over a marching band. Neither is good.
Studies indicate that 49% of drivers under the age of 35 text and drive.
That’s a lot of drivers traveling a football field with their eyes staring at their crotches, texting their friends that Beyonce looks terrible without makeup or they love mom, or whatever.
I don’t have an answer for T & D.
Where’s Nancy Reagan with her JUST SAY NO campaign?
All I know, is I’d rather be on the road with a guy liquored up on white lightning than the same guy texting his grocery list to his wife.
That’s saying something when drunk driving is a preferable lane mate.
Alcohol related deaths among teens has decreased, but the number of teens dying remains the same.
Why?
Distracted Driving.
Like I said. It’s the new drunk driving for the multi tasking generation.
life’s crazy™