You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™
Cursing.
FU at work. Kiss my A** at the supermarket. Up yours to a neighbor.
Man that feels good, doesn’t it?
A new study says cursing is healthy.
Am I skeptical? Castor oil was once considered good for you too.
Remember George Carlin’s famous 7 words you can’t say on TV.
Apparently Carlin was healthier than we knew, until he died, his epitaph littered with expletives.
Why is cursing good?
People are like tea pots boiling on an open flame. When a tea-pot is angry, it whistles and steam escapes. If you boil water in a sealed tea-pot, something bad happens.
People are like sealed tea pots.
Society demands that we conform, say all the right things, manage our emotions and act like a lady or gentleman at all times.
Well guess what, bottling up all that emotion can be dangerous to your health.
The study indicates that anger can cause internal damage like Draino ripping the lining off your innards.
Bottled up anger is like smoking a carton of Lucky Strikes all at once.
Chances are you’re gonna vomit smoke out your ears.
Anger without release is negativity intensified. It’s like getting in a phone booth with bees. It’s like french kissing an electrical socket. It’s like gargling with the business end of a skunk.
Trapped negativity can damage organs, it can sabotage mental well-being, it can depress the soul.
Anger trapped inside a human soul is a recipe for disaster.
Remember Linda Blair in the Exorcist?
Perfectly decent little girl who inhales Satan’s spicy farts.
When her head was spinning on her neck and she was spewing split pea soup, remember what she was saying? “Your mother sucks C***s in hell.”
Even a 10 year old under the spell of demonic possession has to curse to get all the hate out.
So you feel an F bomb coming on? In the name of good health, Bombs away.
@!%# yes!
I would rather have my co-worker drop the F bomb than have him do something more deleterious involving the 2nd amendment.
According to published reports, “Psychologists at England’s Keele University say cursing is a harmless, creative emotional release that can make you feel stronger, theDaily Mail reports. Basically, they argue that profanity is often used as a coping mechanism and can help us feel more resilient.
These experts say that work place swearing decreases worker angst.
If my co-worker needs to curse rather than bring a machete to my cubicle to cut off my juevos, I’m all for cursing.
While I wholeheartedly endorse cursing for medicinal reasons, I also think you need to be mindful of your surroundings.
F you to your buddy on the loading dock elicits laughter.
F you to the secretary who plays piano for her church choir elicits a day off without pay.
The study says cursing around co-workers adds a sense of work place camaraderie.
Cursing around the boss adds a sense of unemployment to your life.
So around the fellas? F Bombs away.
Around the office brass, button it up.
According to the transitive property of anger; cursing = release = better health.
Or inversely: Not cursing = combustibility = work place shooting.
So curse like a sailor, rant like a Taiwanese legislator, spew forth like a trucker on crystal meth.
If you gotta cuss, then cuss like a gang-banger hating the 5-0.
If you gotta cuss, then cuss like a rapper hating on Vanilla Ice.
If you gotta cuss, then cuss like Paula Dean hating on Martin Luther King Day.
If you gotta cuss, then cuss like Tom Cruise hating on “must be so tall to ride” signs.
The idea is to expel the negative and bring equanimity to your simmering tea-pot.
Life’s Crazy™