You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™
FACEBOOK IS THE DEVIL.
Hey FACEBOOK, guess what? You suck.
Hey FACEBOOK, guess what? we’re pissed.
We’ve been sharing secrets with our friends and you’ve been whoring us out to the highest bidder.
How much is that black hoodie collection cost anyway?
Edward Snowden was the informational messiah.
The government tried to nail him to the technological cross, but Snowden got his message out.
He told us that Big Brother is all up in our business.
Ordinary trailer park Americans don’t stand a chance.
The NSA is eaves dropping on our cell phones.
Google knows every key stroke I type.
Facebook knows that my neighbor is wearing a red thong.
George Orwell was 30 years too early, but the Animal Farm author was right on.
Big brother is combing our ass hairs and we don’t even know they’re in our pants.
We tell Facebook our secrets. But people are listening. Somewhere there’s a Chinese dissident in Beijing using our posts and facial recognition technology to find your grandmother eating a hot dog near the Jersey Shore.
Facebook should be indicted for either aiding and abetting or just selling us out.
Facebook isn’t a social network, it’s a spy network. The on line slumber party has hypnotized us, telling us to go back to sleep, close our eyes. Meanwhile they stick their technilogical hand in our cookie jar pilfering our most private information.
But here’s the rub. It’s not all Facebook’s fault. We have to take a lot of the blame.
Facebook knows about you because you whisper your every waking thought.
Why does America feel compelled to screw the milk man on the dishwasher and then post it with a selfie covered in Vitamin D?
What’s trending? Facebook is the devil.
This social goliath breaks up marriages, gives stalkers a place to hide in the cyber shadows.
Facebook makes the dissemination of information too easy.
When you click the LIKE button for Cadillac and Viagra and Russian Brides, Facebook sells that information to brokers.
The brokers sell it to company’s who track you, watch your every purchase, cater to an advertising program that is tailored specifically to you.
They know your name, they know you cheat on your spouse, they know that you had a testicle clipped in a lawn mower incident. Yeah remember when you posted that high on demorol? Now it’s wandering the cyber jungle for the rest of time.
Facebook knows everything about us. Put on ten pounds? Facebook knows it. Try a new acne medicine? Facebook will shout it to the heavens.
And if you don’t post it to Facebook, your blabber mouth network of Facebook friends will.
Who is that guy Liking Viagra and Russian brides? I don’t know him, but Facebook does.
Using a secret spicy information algorithm, Facebook will quickly tell advertisers he is a white man with a tiny penis who is looking for a mean Russian woman with a bad perm.
Facebook is a blood thirsty information pirate making us all walk the plank into a sea of secrets and data sharks showing their teeth.
And we deserve to be eaten because we are stupidly vomiting our most private information across time and space.
So the news that Facebook is going to change some security settings is encouraging.
Breaking News: FACEBOOK is nervous.
Facebook is nervous because you are nervous.
Suddenly Americans care who is watching, who is listening, who is mining our data.
WE are concerned what THEY know about US.
Americans now equate Facebook to a greasy pimp selling our secrets to a skank whore at the pier.
Here’s the reality: Facebook is worried that we will all start sharing less information.
Or worse, maybe we all do what the new generation has all ready done and tell Facebook to take their LIKE button and friend it where the sun don’t shine.
There’s a trend toward private information remaining private and now social networks promising discreet connections are beginning to emerge.
Anonymous social networks that offer users a clandestine place to chat about Viagra and mail order brides are gaining n popularity. What was once a town hall meeting about your sexual preferences will now be more like a drug deal and less like a Pinata party.
So here’s the news value of this story: On Thursday, FB announced that it would give a privacy checkup to every one of its 1.28 billion users worldwide.
According to published reports; Facebook, which is based in Menlo Park, Calif., will also change how it treats new users by initially setting their posts to be seen only by friends. Previously, those posts were accessible to anyone.
And for you morons out there, FB will tell you that setting your parameters to “public” means that anyone on the Internet can see your photos and messages.
Until then America, back off the posts that tell me your eating raisins and you just clipped your dog’s anus hair.
Someone once said, less is more.
someone else once said Facebook is the devil.
Eric Snowden knew it all along.
Life’s Crazy™