Dr. Divorce

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy!

A man who has now been divorced 11 times.

11 times! The goal for most of us is Zero times. How do you get divorced 11 times?

It is unfathomable. Who gets married 11 times only to get divorced 11 times? It’s not a roller coaster where you get back in line after the ride goes off the tracks.

Does the man who gets divorced 11 times have no memory retention? Or is he like a woman who gets amnesia after birth, actually believing the pregnancy and then the labor wasn’t that bad?

To me, getting divorced 11 times is analogous to falling down the stairs over and over and over.

That first fall would be enough to raise the red flag in my house. After breaking my arms and my legs and going to the hospital and enduring weeks of pain, I would think long and hard about standing at the top of the stairs ever again.

But for Mr. Divorce, the top of the stairs is where he lives. The top of the stairs is where the action is.

And after falling a 2nd time, would you really walk to the top of the stairs again and start doing an Irish Jig wearing ball bearing socks on a sheet of ice?

Welcome to the story of the dumbest man on the face of the Earth.

DATELINE: JERUSALEM, Israel

According to FOX – A 50-year-old Jewish man living in Jerusalem has been granted his 11th divorce, a new Israeli record for Jews according to a Rabbinical court.

The unidentified man apparently gets married like some men date. When you take a woman to the movies, he takes a woman to the alter.

Here’s my account of his first meeting with his 11th future ex-wife.

man: you sure are cute.

woman: thanks

man: can i buy you a drink?

woman: i would like that.

man: do you have a pre-nupt?

woman? huh?

man: are you married?

woman? no, are you?

the man looks at his watch.

man: what are you doing in the next hour?

Divorced 11 times! What idiot would marry this man? Can these women tie their own shoes without assistance? Wouldn’t the fact that you are bride number 11 be a red flag? Wouldn’t you call bride number ten and ask her for help?

And if the bride wore white, what does a groom with 10 marriages on his bed post wear?; A camouflage tux? Why not? Marriage for this guy is like a military operation. This guy gets a new wife when he gets an oil change; every 3,000 miles. He gets a new wife when he super sizes his drive through order.

Wife number 11 tells the BBC that he had stopped working and was living off her income.

Really? Stopped working? What, you think that getting married and planning for a divorce while looking for your 12th future ex wife is not work?

Juggling chain saws in an alligator pit is less stressful.

The man told the court that he gets divorced about every two years. That’s more regular than El Nino. That’s about how often some married men who wish they had one divorce get laid.

“It turns out that the popular divorcee courts his wives in a persuasive and sensitive way. But after a short time on both sides they get annoyed with each other and after the courting, fights begin,” according to the Rabbinical Court Administration.

Despite his divorces, the man told the court he never has problems finding women.

“I send out a hook in all directions, and the fish come on their own,” he said.

Appropriate quote since the man is a slippery eel and the women he marries stupider than dock chum.

and that is crazy