You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™
Brushing your teeth with Comet.
Not Crest. Not Colgate.
I’m talking the bathroom cleaner in the bright green can.
It disinfects, it cleanses, it bleaches.
CAUTION: COULD BE HARMFUL OR FATAL IF SWALLOWED is written in huge red letters across all packaging.
Yet, in God’s master plan it takes a village.
In this case, a village idiot, who spent a lifetime ingesting this toxin as part of a dental hygiene plan.
4 out of 5 dentists don’t recommend brushing with Comet Cleanser, you know.
DATELINE: ROYAL OAK, Michigan
“I had eaten the household cleanser Comet for years and years and years and years,” said Crystal, who refuses to give her last name because her brain has been wiped clean by scrubbing bubbles.
This woman is not a rocket scientist.
She is however, an imbecile who used Comet Cleanser to brighten her teeth.
“It eroded the enamel off my teeth!”
Yep. And it will bleach your toilet too lady.
Just when you think you’ve heard it all, you hear this story.
Did your momma raise you in a Janitor’s closet?
Was your dentist Jeffery Dahmer?
In published reports, the stupidest woman in the world says she was hooked on Comet for nearly 30 years. She ate the cleanser nearly every day.
It whitens. It brightens. It causes sterility in bovine and brain damage in Royal Oak Michigan residents.
Comet: It’s the effervescent smile with the 3 mile island glow.
Who brushes their teeth with Comet?
Not even a brain-dead crack whore wouldn’t gargle with bathroom cleaner.
Who is this dumb woman from Michigan?
Did she snort white out? Did she douche with oven cleaner? Did she put pam cooking spray under her arms?
Does dishwashing detergent turn her on?
“PSSSST. Lady. I got some fine Cascade, over here.”
Crystal, the dumbest human on Earth attributed the strange addiction to a difficult childhood that included physical and sexual abuse.
“I thought maybe somehow I was cleaning myself out, that I felt dirty inside,” Crystal said.
That sounds good, if you are a cartoon character.
But really? Scrubbing bubbles from the inside?
Can anyone say colonic? How bout fasting? Drink a lot of green tea wacko!
Here’s the good news in this crazy tale:
Crystal got help.
A dentist spent months working to restore and repair Crystal’s teeth, providing more than $20,000 in dental work for free.
“It made me very happy. Most times people don’t like to come to the dentist, and if I can make somebody happy and do something nice for somebody, I always welcome the opportunity,” said the dentist.
“I feel better physically. You have no idea what bad teeth can do to your physical health, very detrimental. I look better. I speak better,” said Crystal.
The good news; Crystal’s colon now sparkles as brightly as her smile.
Few dummies can say that.
Life’s Crazy™