Archives

Monthly Archive for: ‘October, 2015’
Halloween Precursor

I wrote this last year… You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Halloween from the inside out. It doesn’t take a lot to dress up and ring a doorbell and say “Trick Or Treat.” Mutants and mongoloids have been doing that for over 100 years. The trick is handling the door from the inside […]

Space Sex

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy! ™ Space Sex. Talk about your high flying fantasy! Knocking boots in the celestial cosmos, can you even imagine? Slamming off walls and microwave ovens and the Hal 9000 computer. What fun! Hey baby we’re in the milky way, what do you say? People brag about […]

baby vomit

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ The good Samaritan. I am at an intersection in the middle of nowhere. It’s rural, empty, like the vacuous thoughts filling Jessica Simpson’s mind. It is a country road in the middle of Giles County. I am north of the Alabama border, I am south of […]

Amazin Mets

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ The Mets VS the Royals. That’s a World Series few pundits picked in Spring Training. In fact, the Mets were as popular a World Series pick as a Herpes Blister in a kissing booth. The problem with the Mets pre-All Star Break? They were anemic. They […]

Junk Mail

You know what’s Crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy! People who believe their full time job is to forward email. We all know these people. We are all on the list. The list is comprised of friends and acquaintances. The list is made up of work mates and anonymous names from countries near and far. […]

The Little Dog

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ My contempt for humans. They are capable of purposeful evil and egregious selfishness. I am reminded of this recently as I stare at the Xray of a puppy that has been shot by men so irrational, so morally deficient, I am having trouble containing my anger. […]

Comet Cleanser Tooth Paste

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Brushing your teeth with Comet. Not Crest. Not Colgate. I’m talking the bathroom cleaner in the bright green can. It disinfects, it cleanses, it bleaches. CAUTION: COULD BE HARMFUL OR FATAL IF SWALLOWED is written in huge red letters across all packaging. Yet, in God’s master […]

Buen Camino

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ El Camino de Santiago. What is El Camino? It’s many things to many people. It’s a beautiful, brutal walk across the countryside of Spain. It’s Jeopardy for the mind. It’s an iron-man for the body. It’s a cathartic cleansing of the soul. According to the history […]

George Clooney

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™ George Freaking Clooney. Need I say more? How freaking cool is George Clooney? He is James Bond, shaken not stirred. He is Clint Eastwood, do you feel lucky punk. He is Elvis Presley, before the sequined jump suit. Tonight I am watching the American. Clooney is […]

Decomposing Momma

You now what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy. The evil that churns in an unsettled mind. The suspect walks into the jail conference room. He is sad and demented. His shackles sound like evil wind chimes, the metal clanking uneasily. The prisoner stops in the middle of the room. He is bewildered and haggard. […]

12