You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™
Getting primordial on some animal.
According to the Wall Street Journal, US hunters are catching on to a backward movement, favoring crude weapons made with ancient methods.
We’re talking rocks and clubs and spears and prehistoric modes of death.
Translation: Shooting a grazing deer with a high powered, GPS assisted, Navy Seal endorsed assault weapon from 10 yards is boring.
YAWN
Isn’t it sad when killing something is boring. But in today’s world where there’s an iphone app for killing a rhinoceros and removing its horn, there’s a new movement to go retro:
In other words; out with the new and in with the old.
According to the TWSJ – hunters are trading in their pricey carbon fiber cross bows and busting some animal in the head with a stick.
Talk about a prehistoric beat down?
That’s Crazy likes to call it Cave style bad assery.
I’m talking about chasing boars in the woods and hucking spears at them. If you catch em, you tackle them like a crazy episode of extreme fighting meets Snookey at the Jersey Shore and then you choke the crap out your kill.
Like a scene from Lord of the Flies, you plunge your hand into the belly of the beast and rip out its heart and eat it in a celebration of lunacy. Unless the blood dripping down your face is warm and full of protein rich carbs, it ain’t worth doing, right?
As Randy Rifenburgh, a longtime primitive hunter who goes by “Rattlin’ Randy” in his hunting instruction videos says: “Technology has made it too easy for the real hunters.”
According to published reports: Interest in the Stone Age lifestyle has been growing. In recent years, archaeology buffs started arrowhead-making groups in places like Portland, Ore., and
Pasadena, Calif. Other die-hards have adopted meat-heavy “paleo” diets, eating like traditional hunter-gatherers.
I’ve seen this Paleo group at the endless sizzler food bar. Paleo is a nice way of saying “Hey fat boy, what color are your shoes?”
Prehistoric hunts are back partly because technology has made hunting a bit of a yawner, some of the sport’s aficionados have said. The proliferation of gear like high-powered sniper rifles and “compound bows” — which use carbon fiber, metal wire and a set of pulleys to fling an arrow almost as fast as a bullet — took much of the sport out of hunting, they said.
Some states are curbing how far hunters may go. Massachusetts only allows spear hunting for eels, carp and sucker fish. Other states prohibit stone-tipped projectiles. In Montana, a state bill to legalize spear hunting died in committee after Gov. Brian Schweitzer in March called it “kooky.”
Makes you wonder why? How does it matter how you kill an eel. Does it matter if you hook it or shoot it with a taser or fire paint balls at it?
Dead eel is dead eel no matter how you kill it.
I say hunt like there’s no tomorrow. Go start a fire, live in a cave, and paint on the walls with blood. Act like a prehistoric madman and howl at the moon wearing the skin of your kill. If you are going to get all Darwin on my ass, then liberate the crazy inside you.
Getting primordial is not only crazy it’s endorsed by 4 out of 5 dentists.