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You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Crazy Fred! It’s 9 am on a Saturday morning. I am scheduled to pick up a car at Enterprise Rental Car for my drive to Carmel. I’m picking up the car in sleepy Camarillo, a city north of L.A. The doors open at 9 am. I […]

Club M

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Club M. It’s a San Diego Night Spot that is one part Star Wars Bar and one part Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus. “Step right up and look at the Moth Faced Man,” the door man should shout. “Step into the Club M and […]

Fat Fat Fat

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy A study that says Americans eat too much. This is not news. But it is sad. AMERICA has to be the fattest nation on Earth. Maybe beluga whales and sea walruses and German beer wenches are heavier. But as a group, Americans are pushing their elastic waste bands […]

Get out of my face Bathroom man

You know what’s crazy. I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™ Music City Bathroom Attendants. It’s so aggressive, so damn intrusive! A man meeting you in a bathroom with an extended hand is creepy. It’s so freaking annoying, my buddy paid one of these guys $20. “That’s it,” he said, shouting over the twang of a Garth […]

Respect the badge

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Being a cop now-a-days. I wake up Tuesday to a number of officers texting me saying “have you seen this?” I click on the link. I’m appalled. I’m amazed. “Where the hell did this come from?” I say aloud. It’s vertical, and grainy, and badly shot. […]

Coffee Junkie

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ No Morning Coffee. There’s an emptiness in my ritual, a fizzless beginning to a day that needs fizz. No Coffee. It’s a shock to the system. It’s an empty gas tank, a closet without clothes, it’s a heart without love. No coffee is like a dead […]

Dallas vs Green Bay 2015

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ The tension of playoff football. Dallas Vs. Green Bay. It’s the Divisional Playoff game. Win and move on. Lose and go home. it doesn’t get more complicated like that. Green Bay is a tough place to play in mid January. It’s 29 degrees. It’s the frozen […]

I lost my smart phone

I lost my phone for a bit today. Suddenly you are a caveman without fire. I found the phone, but it reminded me of this terrible story… You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy. Being cut off from the world. Like Tom Hanks blown out of an airliner and floating with Wilson, his […]

ICE CREAM ICE STORM

It’s so cold out today, My fingers won’t work. I found this story from my archives and re-purposed it. You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy!Going to an ice cream shop when it’s 18 degrees outside. It’s January and it’s cold. The wind is blowing 25 mph and the flag is erect like a sailor […]

Serial Killer

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™ Paul Dennis Reid. He was Nashville’s most notorious killer. He killed 7 restaurant workers in the course of 3 months. He is suspected in several more slayings. It was 1997. I had been in Nashville about a year. The murders began in February. It starts with 2 […]