You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™ Thieves stealing 42,000 pounds of condiments. Can you imagine? 42,000 pounds? Ketchup and Mustard MIA! How much is 42,000 pounds of hot dog fixings? What would that even look like? Would it fill a swimming pool like some kind of spicy hot mustardy quick sand? Would […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™ A monkey with an AK – 47. It sounds like a punch line to a joke. Like how many chimps does it take to screw in a light bulb in a thatched hut? One! If he’s toting a fully automatic weapon with a full banana clip. My […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™ Making your own wedding ring. Really? Is this the key to matrimonial success? Are we Navajo Indians twisting sage brush into wedding bands? Are we South American Swamp People braiding river grass into a crown of wedlock? Nope!Trust me. If that formula were true, there would […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™ Women are Crazy. Men are Idiots : Cooking I know many of the great cooks in the world stand to pee. I know that many of the most famous chef’s on TV have names like emeril and Wolfgang and Chef Gordon Ramsey. I’m just not a […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™ How men and women drive.If you think the sexes drive the same, just ask All State Insurance. Why do you think teenage boys have a higher rate than a Charlie Sheen Call girl. Women are crazy and men are idiots and we drive that way. It’s […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™ Gender differences. We all have one head – two arms – one appendix. We all bleed and have an insatiable desire for McDonald’s fries. As members of the human race we need love and like plush Corinthian leather under our ass when we drive. But apart […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™ Having your eyes pecked out of your head by angry birds. It sounds like a Hitchcock movie where angry winged demons swarm the sky, blotting out the sun and descending on unsuspecting prey like ants gorging on a picnic basket full of Good N Plenty candy. Perhaps it’s […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™ Nancy Grace. She is a former prosectuor now turned court house pundit. She is a former barrister now turned barracuda. She is a rattle snake slithering in manure. She is an under arm hair soiled with perspiration. She has a voice like broken glass and she’s aggressive like […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy. Getting zapped by electricity six times! That’s OK if you are a spark plug. It’s normal if you are a pork chop in a microwave. But flesh and bones? DATELINE: SENECA,South Carolina It’s here that Melvin Roberts was struck by lightning for the sixth time. The 59 year […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™ BABY BRAINS (an observation I made a few years ago) It’s amazing how much information a child’s brain can absorb. The baby medulla oblingata is like a paper towel sucking up information. I am reminded of this while watching the Discovery Channel. The episode: Jungle Frogs. Nothing excites […]