You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™
Flaming Babies.
It sounds like a joke.
A priest, a rabbi and a baby walk into a bar…
Poof.
So while you are trying to get that stain out of your white pants and balance your check book, others apparently are dealing with the tiresome problem of sudden and unexplained spontaneous baby combustion.
Here’s what I know about tiny tots catching autonomously catching on fire…..
check his diaper for charcoal briquettes and the sign of the beast.
DATELINE: CHENNAI, India
According to the New York Times: A 3-month-old Indian baby is the center of a medical mystery as doctors try to determine if the infant suffers from spontaneous human combustion.
The child’s parents claim he has ignited four times.
Four times?
Wouldn’t you call the fire department the first time baby goes boom?
How about the doctor the 2nd time jr goes poof.
How about that priest from the Exorcist the 3rd time around? You know the Power of Christ compels you, and all that spiritual lingo.
By the 4th time baby flame thrower erupts I’d have called Mr. Magoo and the Scooby Doo love van because this is getting comical.
Anyone check for locusts and signs of the apocalypse?
The boy’s mother says nine days after his birth she found the baby on fire in her hut.
I like the fact that they live in a hut. I’m not sure I like the fact that she found him on fire.
What’s the significance of the 1st fire on the 9th day?
Is that like the 7th son of a seventh son.
I don’t even know what the hell that means.
So here’s my blunt thought for the day: Hey mom you are full of S***!
“There was a flame on his belly and his right knee,” she says. “and my husband rushed with a towel to put it off,” Karnan told the New York Times. “I got very scared.”
I found the baby on fire in the hut? I got very scared.
That’s what all the child abusing psycho moms say.
This sounds like some witch doctor voo doo crap if you ask me.
Where was Stephen King when all this baby fire starter nonsense began?
Babies don’t burst into flames? Not unless they’re nursing from an Exxon gas pump smoking a pack of Camel unfiltered cigarettes.
According to the New York Times: Doctors there are investigating the possibility that the infant, named Rahul, has suffered from spontaneous human combustion. They have also examined the child for a host of other medical conditions, as well as possible child abuse.
I’m highly skeptical. You could waste a lot of money doing tests on children who explode, or you could just arrest the parents and thrown them in jail. Let’s see how many times the baby combusts while the child is in protective custody.
But just in case, Beelzebub is the daddy, better handle this little one with some asbestos oven mitts.
Just saying.
Life’s Crazy™