You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.
Getting stuck with the clean up costs at a murder scene. The bill alone is murder.
DATELINE: QUEENS, NEW YORK
BIOLOGY 101: The human body has a lot of fluid in it. Blood and excretory materials and well you name it. And when you die, it all ends up getting loose like the dairy case at the supermarket melting down.
In November 2008, somebody killed a man in front of a Queens housing unit. The crime scene was, well it was a bloody mess.
Cops came and set up shop. There were bloody chalk outlines, and discarded coffee cups and crime tape flapping in the breeze. There were donut clusters and bear claws and countless copies of jugs magazine. And then the CSI guys came and did their CSI thing. They littered the Earth with hermetically sealed swabbing kits and DNA analysis data. They all wore chic sunglasses and stared at the ground while they talked in a low gravely voice. Then there’s the paramedics. Messy bunch these paramedics. They come and open up iv bags and syringes and they always toss their debris on the ground. I’ve never been to a crime scene where the EMT’s haven’t left behind bloody gloves. And let me tell you, murder stains are harder to wash out of a dress shirt than spilled mustard.
So when everyone with a badge and a degree in pathology left the crime scene; after they packed up the corpse and their tiny sacks of evidence, the only thing left was a big red blood stain in the middle of the neighborhood. It was awkward to look at. It was a biological reminder of the horror that had just taken place. Looking at it was like watching a three legged dog chasing a stick, it was uncomfortable. I mean you can live with a bloody stain in the middle of your neighborhood, but nobody wants to if they don’t have to. It’s like eating spaghetti with maggots. It’s chewy and digestable, but not going to be endorsed by Martha Stewart.
So when a group of Queens women were left to deal with a blood soaked front yard and driveway and sidewalk, the women said take this crime scene and shove it! The women looked at each other exclaiming, “how is this our problem”
Guess what? The cops went out for a burger and never came back. NYPD says they don’t clean up crime scenes. Well isn’t that convenient? That bloody gelatanous goo on the sidewalk, it will congeal in a few weeks. Maybe when it hardens, you can scrape it up with a snow shovel. Maybe after a decade of hard rains, the stain will sort of disappear. Maybe we can turn the bloody blob into a hop scotch area for the kids.
If we’re lucky, that 3 legged dog will lick the sidewalk clean. YUM.
Leaving the crime scene for the neighborhood to clean up didn’t sit well with the ladies, so the ladies decided to take matters into their own hands.
“I don’t know how to clean up blood,” said Mrs. Scott, shuddering at the memory of being unable to remove the stains. “It was embedded.”
So here’s the sorrowful bottom line: One guy’s dead. There’s a nasty blood stain in Queens. And the crime scene ladies are now suing the NYPD for $120,000. I’m not sure why it’s that much. I can only imagine there is some trumped up pain and suffering thrown in on the advice of a jerk off ambulance chasing attorney. I am no fan of frivolous law suits, trust me? The NYPD says it’s not its job to clean up crime scenes. Well someone has to take responsibility.
If the murder was inside a private residence, I understand making the property owner clean up the mess. But on a public street? On a public sidewalk? I say get out your scrub brush NYC and get your CSI janitorial boots and suspenders on and start cleaning.
It’s Cheaper than paying 120,000 dollars don’t you think?
And that is crazy.