Blog

Adulterated Coffee

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Adulterated Coffee. What is adulterated coffee? To me, it’s nectar of the Gods. It is cream and sugar saturating something so pure, so dark, so primal. America’s addiction to coffee. It’s a crime without a punishment. Coffee is the global drug of choice. Coffee is crack […]

Micromanage my Ass!

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Micromanaging. I feel like a rat in a maze. Go this way. Push the button. Go left, go right, go left. Now check in with the cock roach in the corner. Anybody got any cheese? Somebody punch my clock. Are you Micromanaging my ass? I don’t […]

Hemingway House

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ The Ernest Hemingway House. If the man is a genius, if the man is a world renown icon, if the man is a literary gunslinger, then this is the house that Ernest built. I am in Key West Florida. It is a stone’s throw to Cuba, […]

FLETCHER & THE SCHIZOPHRENIC

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ FLETCHER AND THE SCHIZOPHRENIC DUDE Fletcher is a natural born salesman. He is friendly, cocksure, hand extended as he approaches us. “Good morning.” Fletcher is a wiry 60 year old. He is wearing a name tag that says CHAIRMAN. I stare at the name tag. Chairman? […]

Wild Chickens

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ The Key West Wild Chickens. They fly and flap. They are fowl and yes, foul! Key West is a lot of things. Sea and sky and rainbows after dark thunder boomers. It’s also a haven for chickens. Why Chickens? Because they are God’s creatures and Key […]

Driving to Cuba

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Driving to Cuba. I’m on highway 1 South out of Miami. The top is down and the splendid south Florida sunshine is filling my face with a rejuvenation one only feels on the 1st day of a long awaited vacation. I am in a rented 2016 […]

USC is butchered in season opener

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Grid Iron Devastation! Alabama beat USC so badly, the university is being investigated for felonious assault. Nick Saban is cold and calculating, he is the football version of George S. Patton, storming his way through France hanging out of a Sherman Tank and chewing on a […]

Stand the F*** Up!

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Not standing for the National Anthem. Spoiled. Pampered. Entitled. Stand the F*** Up! You are quarterback for the San Francisco 49ers. You are one of 32 men in the world who get to do what you do. Stand the F*** Up! You make millions. You don’t […]

Get in the Ring Motha F***ers!

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy. The Rejection letter. God Damn it! As soon as I read the words, Thank You for sending DEADLINE, we have now had time to review…. Oh uh. I didn’t have to read another syllable. As many of you know, I have been trying to cross the […]

Why God?

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy. The Accidental Shooting. The call goes out as an 11-year-old shot at a bus stop. That’s a scanner call that paralyzes the soul. It’s a tray of China crashing on a marble floor. It’s a Tornado siren sounding at the farmer’s market. It is a piercing […]